334. Bad Trips and Psychic Flips: Round and Round in the Medicine Wheel w/ Kyle Kingsbury

Kyle Kingsbury

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

Fellow biohacking champion, Kyle Kingsbury, integrates terrifying trips into the 3D and discusses life-changing aspects of parenthood.

As Director of Human Optimization at Onnit and host of the Human Optimization Hour Podcast, Kyle Kingsbury is a living example of the optimized human. He is an autodidact of exceptional caliber, taking in as much information as possible to apply and test that knowledge on himself. His desk is a smorgasbord of cutting edge supplements, esoteric equipment, as well as manuals on biohacking and spiritual development. He is also a former UFC fighter with 11 wins under his belt. An all-around wonderful and formidable human being

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

Join me for a wild ride into the ethers of hell and beyond with spiritual thrillseeker and optimized human Kyle Kingsbury.  

We reflect on his recent harrowing experience on 5-MeO-DMT, the warped reality of playing the game in this 3D simulation, the different ways parenthood was shown to us during soul-searching ayahuasca ceremonies, and how these medicines have taught us to surrender the ego in ways we’ve never thought possible.

This episode taught me so much about feeling into the edges of my own fears and how to harness elements of ego to serve myself and those I care about.

08:14 — Conscious Parenting 

  • Becoming a father for the second time
  • Children as gurus 
  • Rewriting inner-child wounds through parenting 
  • The Native American medicine wheel and the seasons of healing 
  • Vedic meditation for householders

28:40 — Consciousness and Control 

  • How ego separates householders from observers
  • Crushing ego during addict recovery 
  • The ballet dance of higher-consciousness and playing the game in the 3D realm

42:12 — Merging Souls on Mushrooms

  • Receiving the call to take a 30-gram dose of mushrooms
  • Learning from pure divinity and darkness
  • Connecting with his son’s wise soul
  • A psychedelic interpretation of the Eucharist

1:05:51 — Surrendering to Parenthood 

  • How his son expresses his love and compassion to the world
  • Seeing his children before they were born with his wife during an ayahuasca ceremony 
  • Studying 2nd generation Indigo children 
  • Unpacking the depths of my sexuality 
  • Confronting the prospect of fatherhood during ceremony
  • Preparing to be a parent

1:48:19 — Integrating a Hellish Bufo Alvarius Toad Medicine Experience 

  • Breaking down Bufo Alvarius Toad medicine on a molecular level 
  • Living through an eternal hell loop
  • Intense flashbacks post-ceremony
  • Cleansing the experience with Paul Chek
  • Choosing to live in love

More about this episode.

Watch it on YouTube.

[00:00:00]Luke Storey:  I'm Luke Storey. For the past 22 years, I've been relentlessly committed to my deepest passion, designing the ultimate lifestyle based on the most powerful principles of spirituality, health, psychology, and personal development. The Life Stylist podcast is a show dedicated to sharing my discoveries and the experts behind them with you. Kyle Kingsbury, here we are back on the Life Stylist. Welcome to the show, dude.

[00:00:28]Kyle Kingsbury:  Hell, yeah, brother. Thank you for having me.

[00:00:29]Luke Storey:  So good to see you. I'm sure you have this happen as a podcaster where you know someone you're interviewing, and you start to catch up with them before the podcast, and some magic ensues, and you go to some pretty deep water with no mics on. Today was one of those days, you come in, we want to catch up, build some rapport, get warmed up before the main event, and the whole time we're outside talking, I'm like, oh, man, this would be gold to record. 

[00:00:56]Kyle Kingsbury:  I was thinking it the whole time. 

[00:00:57]Luke Storey:  You were? Because then, you don't want to reenact it in an artificial way because that moment was that moment, and things were said and felt that were inherent to the now that was that now. So, yeah, I'm just going to allow this conversation to go, and I'm like, oh, there was some nuggets in there. So, a lot's happened since we last talked. You have a new baby.

[00:01:18]Kyle Kingsbury:  She'll be six months January 4th.

[00:01:21]Luke Storey:  Wow.

[00:01:22]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, right around the corner. This is in the past tense when you're listening to this on the podcast, but yeah.

[00:01:28]Luke Storey:  Yes. And then, you already had one.

[00:01:31]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, he's five now and just a fucking ball of energy.

[00:01:34]Luke Storey:  Yeah, I can imagine. 

[00:01:35]Kyle Kingsbury:  You know what really helped me with that? Because he doesn't listen at all. And I'm like, is he learning this at school? What's going on? And it's like school is a double-edged sword. We have this time to actually have space where we can focus on Wolf, and work, and all the other things that need to get done and not just be the Bear show or any five-year-old show, for that matter, because I want to be fully invested when I'm around with them. 

[00:01:57] But then, they pick up new stuff when they're at school, and they come home, and you're stupid, you're stupid, that kind of thing. And it's like, we've never said that once in our house. Where did you learn that? And it's like from the other kids at the school kind of thing. And his school is dope, but there's always work. It's like never-ending work with kids. And I was talking on a hot tub about this, our friend out in Sedona, and she's like, I have twins, a boy and a girl, that are in their early 20s and I'm talking to my son now about the reality behind social justice and a lot of the shit he's facing in college. 

[00:02:31] So, it's like, it's still never-ending in their fucking twenties, like they're out in the house, she's an empty nester, and her role as mom is still ongoing. And one thing that helped me was I called my mom around Christmas, and I was like, I have memories of being disciplined as a kid, quite a few of them. Generally, that happens after some sort of misbehavior, I was like, did I not listen or did I—and she's like, oh, honey, you never listened ever. 

[00:03:01] And I was like, fuck, alright. And that just took like all the weight off my shoulders, because I was like, cool, there's nothing wrong with him. He's a chip off the old block. The apple didn't fall far at all. And I know my dad was the same way, talking to his parents about it, and like, oh, Rick never listened. Like, he never listened. They just go on and on about it. I just give them like one little crack in the doorway, and then it kicks it open, and can't wait to tell me all the stories about how my dad wouldn't listen. 

[00:03:30] So, it's cool in that way. It's alleviating in some ways, and it allows me to really take a step back as the observer. And there are so many things that are paradoxical. And I'm sure as we dip into the medicine space, that'll be part of one of the deepest lessons that I've learned recently, is that at the ultimate level, God is nothing but paradox. And that's why the thou cannot be named, because the second you name it, the inverse is true as well, which is just a total mind fuck. 

[00:04:01] But thinking about that with our kids, like in this facelessness of unity consciousness, where it is boundaryless, which we've both experienced recently with the Sonoran Desert toad 5-MeO-DMT, when I have a cell for a small cell for however you want to—when I'm in the form of Kyle Kingsbury, there are fucking clear boundaries. If I don't adhere to those and I run a red light, I can get smashed, right? If I can jump off a cliff, I will meet the rock that is appearing to be separate from me and it will crush the Kyle Kingsbury, right? 

[00:04:36] And boundaries are completely necessary with kids. It's one of the first things they learn, is spatial awareness. What is me? What is you? How am I different from Mom? I forget who is talking about, some people say like, kids can't really differentiate themselves from mother for a while after they're born. They still think of themselves as the same being, and that's a really cool thing to think, like, wow, they have a completely different body. 

[00:04:59] And I can hold them, someone else can hold them, but they still think they're—and who knows if that's fucking true. It's not like anybody can ask them that. But that concept is kind of cool to think about. So, there's been a lot of seemingly infinite level of downloads recently from the plant medicine space, from my own self looking inward, and from my own self looking outward no further than my family, my son, our newborn, and then, of course, the world at large, which is I'm sure we'll talk about as well.

[00:05:33]Luke Storey:  Yeah, about the newborns running the world, the newborns from the gates of hell. It's interesting talking about your boy, not having had kids myself, but being very curious about the evolution of souls in this lifetime and how one chooses to incarnate, of course, in a certain set of circumstances, but then is also choosing an inherent personality type, right? So, yeah, based on your karmic inheritance and I guess your spiritual will, you're going to pop in as a rambunctious kid, a shy kid, or whatever kind of kid, right? You can have a flavor to your personality. 

[00:06:07] But no matter what your flavor is, there are going to be stages built into the natural progression of your maturity at which you push away from those who love and protect you. And that's super obvious around 13, 14 when we really differentiate, and in many cases, no matter how cool our parents are, we're like, you're not cool anymore. F you, I don't want to hug, right? And then, to the furthest extreme of rebellion. But it sounds like your son is maybe coming out of that unity space with mommy or you and mommy and is going like, you're stupid. I'm my own person, right? So, I think from a patient's perspective, it's probably good for parents to have a really zoomed out point of view like you've managed to build for yourself so that it becomes less personal. 

[00:06:50]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, Ram Dass talked about that, the Soul Pod. We travel together in pods, and of course, this is on the assumption of reincarnation, which I'm sure most of your listeners are cool with. It's certainly something that I've come to understand through plant medicines and know viscerally. But the idea that we not only select our parents as the best trajectory, and then we've quite likely had some relationship with them in previous lifetimes, maybe my mom was my cousin, or my sister, or my daughter, or whatever, not even looking into that depth, but the idea that if we choose our parents to give us the best opportunity for our soul to learn on its path, that we're not only selecting it for us, but we're selecting it for them, that our kids are truly the guru in disguise. 

[00:07:38] They're our teachers. And that the lessons that I can learn from Bear and learn from Wolf are just as much for me as it is for them, right? And that's a big one, too. And Dr. Will Taegel who lives out in Wimberley, you'll get to meet him while you're here. Brilliant guy who wrote the book, Walking with Bears, PhD in psychology, PhD in physics, and also, a medicine man who's worked with native elders for decades. He's 80 now. 

[00:08:05] And he talked about that. I think it was young, but this idea that every self we have from the five-year-old Kyle to the 20-year-old to the 39-year-old, whatever, they're all existing in one right now. And you can't change the past, but we can change our perspective on the past. We know this is true through plant medicine experiences. But one of the ways we rewrite that and we can bring healing to the inner child, if that's like not too woo-woo for fucking some people is this idea that-

[00:08:33]Luke Storey:  I resisted that one for a couple decades, and finally, I was like, he’s in there. 

[00:08:36]Kyle Kingsbury:  And part of it too is like we get caught up in that, right? And there's a Native American spirit will analogy that I'll get to in a second if I remember. But back to this small self, the wounded child archetype, we get to interact with that every time we parent at that particular age. So, some shit happened to me when I was five. I'm going to see that mirrored to me in my son. And when the opportunity is there for him to not listen, how I respond not only matters for him, it matters for the small self that lives within me. 

[00:09:08] So, when I have this opportunity to parent differently, I mean, it was funny, because I was talking about, you're stupid, you're stupid, I wouldn't let him have to create boundaries and I wasn't going to let him get out of bed a third time to go downstairs, and fight, going to sleep like he does, so I just put my ass in front of his door, and I said, sorry, he doesn't have locks. I'm like, sorry, buddy, we're not going downstairs anymore, we've already been to the bathroom. 

[00:09:30] It's bedtime. And he lost it, and started whipping my ass, and said, yelling, you're stupid, you're stupid while he’s beating me. And I was like, I had this shit happen from—my dad didn't punch me, but I mean, like I got disciplined pretty hard from the old man, and now, from my son. And I'm like, why the fuck would I sign up for this? When's going to be my time? Like, what is this? And it was just so funny. And then, in hindsight, I was like, oh, there was my opportunity and I fucking did it. 

[00:09:58] I did the thing, right? I'm 220 pounds, I can fucking take it. My son, he's strong, but for a five-year-old, he's strong, right? So, like, can I take that? For sure. And was that better than whooping his ass? I don't know. I never hit my dad. There are benefits to the way he raised me, and that's like, again, these super odd paradoxes that we come to learn only through the experience of that. Like, well, shit, as a dad, if I don't want a son that acts this way, there's a route to make that happen, right? 

[00:10:29] But I didn't like that route, so let me change that. And then, oh, man, I don't like what's happening with him now. So, again, like this never-ending infinite loop of what is the best way, and then the ultimate realization, there's no fucking such thing as the best way, right? It simply is. And what's being called to me right now is what I'm going to try. And as long as I'm playing the game, then I'm doing it right. You know what I'm saying?

[00:10:55]Luke Storey:  Yeah. That's really, really interesting from that perspective of like Russian 

[00:11:01] Dolls come to mind, right? And we're the outer shell of this Russian doll. It's a pretty good analogy. Thank you. Thanks spirit of intelligence. But we're this Russian doll is an adult to 20 Kyle Kingsbury, right? But within all the layers of that or however many years old you are, let's say, like the rings on a tree of sorts, that even though we see ourselves as this 50-year-old Luke, 185 on a good day, also within that are all those other layers of skin or all those other rings on a tree, right? 

[00:11:37] So, that little innocence three, four-year-old Lukey is still in there, as is the traumatized five and six-year-old, and the on, and on, and on, and on, right? And I think it's really wise to embrace the reality that all of those experiences, all those levels of your maturity and growth are all still present in there. And that was a really hard one for me to grasp, because I think, being in a lot of self-help stuff in the ‘80s and ‘90s, the inner child stuff was really big. And there are trends in all this stuff, the power of now, there was a trend of nowness and they're all beautiful trends, but I remember being kind of like, yeah, like it just sounded kind of weak to me, especially, I guess, the breaking through the barrier of machismo and perceived essence of masculinity. 

[00:12:30]Kyle Kingsbury:  Well, the cultural inundation of don't be a pussy, suck it up, like you're going against a bigger narrative than just how you view yourself. That's what we're taught. It's the ultimate program of manness. 

[00:12:42]Luke Storey:  Exactly. So, to be a man, and be like, oh, my inner child, I just felt like weak or fake. But having had the experience of interacting with that self that's still within, it's very much real. And there's so much healing in getting to know that little guy. And for me, I think it was that Soltara in some ayahuasca ceremonies that this really became present or activated, but it was communicating to that little boy that there's an adult in the room now and relieving the egoic fear, protective self, and the analytical mind of the responsibility that it took over in trying to protect that little boy, and saying, yo, there's a higher-self warrior in the room now. 

[00:13:31] I've got you. And I'm sorry for what I've allowed you to be put through. There's a responsibility of Self in that state of protection of that little boy. And there are so many different threads of that that I've experienced, where it's like, whoa, it's a much deeper level of that. So, I can only imagine when you have a reflection of consciousness in a kid that’s then like you're adding so many layers of complexity to that dance, right? 

[00:14:03]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. And it's almost easier in a way, because I don't have to search for it, right? Like life presents you with the things. So many people get caught up in the, what am I going to do next or when's this thing going to happen? And really, I’ve been calling this in and I've surrendered it, when the fuck is it going to go down? And it's like, well, all at the same time, life presents itself to you, right? Like it's always in front of you. And if you haven't had enough shit, don't worry, it's right around the corner. 

[00:14:29] Like there's always going to be something to learn from. You brought up a really good point that I wanted to mention, this Native American spirit will on the innocent child, something I learned from Tim Corcoran at Fit for Service who studied with Gilbert Walking Bull, lived with the Navajo, great guy, who looks kind of like Ned Flanders, but he's fucking awesome. And he's done probably a dozen traditional vision quest, no food, no water for four days, super tapped in guy. 

[00:14:56] And there are thousands of Native American spirit wills, but one of the ones he gravitates towards is this idea of each direction in the four directions pairs with the season, it pairs with different spirit animals, and it pairs with a theme. And the north would be the winter, rest and responsibility. So, that's where you have your job, your parenting, any of that stuff. The East, new beginning, Spring time, planting seeds, what it is that you're calling in, in your life? 

[00:15:27] The South is play, and that's the childlike innocence and it's the love of the body. And then, the West, that's the shadow work. That's the Fall. That's where we dig in, and do some healing, and work on some of the shit we don't want to look at, right? But he said, people get so caught up in one particular aspect and it's just as simple as taking a quarter turn to the right, just move counterclockwise or just move clockwise on that wheel. So, for people that are listening to this, that are like, oh, God, there’s just so much to do. I can't stop doing these ceremonies, and everything I uncover, I see that there's more to be done. 

[00:16:01] And it's like every single lens in which we draw attention and focus to is an infinite wellspring. That rabbit hole goes on for eternity. So, if you're feeling out of balance or like you've been doing healing work for 10 years, it's time to switch gears to a different season and see what you've been leaving out, right? So, if you're stuck in the West healing the wounded child, maybe it's time to circle back around to the south and play because that innocent child still lives within you, the three or four-year-old pre-trauma that just looked at the world and on curiosity, that exists within all of us as well. It's hard to relearn that sometimes to reconnect that dot, right?

[00:16:43]Luke Storey:  That's good. Yeah. 

[00:16:44]Kyle Kingsbury:  But that guy is always there too, right? So, whatever that is, whether it's trying a new instrument and sucking at it, or it's really easy for me, because I mean, all I have to do is act like a complete ass clown to Wolf and she starts laughing, like [making sounds] then she starts giggling, and it's like you can't help but feel joy when a five-month-old laughs at you. So, like there's very easy hacks for me, but they're there for all of us, whether it's putting on like your favorite dance song or singing to your partner in a silly voice or watching an old comedy like Stepbrothers that makes you laugh on a little bit of ketamine, like whatever the fucking joy is. 

[00:17:22] Like you can tap into that. You can choose that and you don't live there either. There's plenty of people like Jimmy Will talks about this, getting caught in the loop of ecstasies, where you're on the couch until the next ecstatic dance, or until the next Burning Man, or the next festival, or the next whatever. And it's like you're not really playing the game there either, right? Like we signed up to come here to interact within the game, within the matrix. And that's been one of the biggest downloads I've received my whole fucking life recently, is just to understand that we created this and we're here to play in it. 

[00:18:03] And something Emily Fletcher, I won’t get longwinded here, I'll break it in a second, but Emily Fletcher, she created a Ziva Meditation, which Is brilliant. I had her on the podcast. Her lineage study goes back 6,000 years in India. So, when she went to study from her teacher, she flew into Delhi or something like that, took a train to Rishikesh, and then like a little buggy up the mountain to the Himalayan mountains where she met. And I'm like, oh, shit. It's like Doctor Strange. And so, she gets up there in 6,000 years, this lineage has been held. And it was created for the householders. Like it's a different meditation style when you're a monk. If you're just going to sit and hold resonance all day long, yeah, it's a totally different style. But for householders, for the doers that are in the game, it's a different style, right?

[00:18:55]Luke Storey:  Yeah. And we've had her on. She's brilliant. And we've had a few shows on Vedic meditation in particular. For those listening, we'll put it in the show notes. And Vedic comes from a lineage that also spurned the TM movement. Same practice, jJust different sort of organizational principles, whereas TM became sort of more commercialized. God bless it. I'm sure it's helped a lot of people. Vedic is more based on the individual teacher carrying the lineage and that kind of thing. But there's not like an organizing curriculum in the Vedic world. It's sort of like Tom Noels is one of the top guys, and Emily, and Jeff Kober, and different people. Anyway, for context.

[00:19:34]Kyle Kingsbury:  I like that context. I didn't realize that, because I’ve had some people ask me like, isn't it just like TM? And I'm like, I think it is because there's a mantra.

[00:19:42]Luke Storey:  It is, like the financial structure of it is different in that sense. And again, it's just rogue Vedic teachers versus an organizing umbrella in TM, where there's an organization. 

[00:19:52]Kyle Kingsbury:  That’s cool. It would be like the organization of Gracie Jujitsu versus all the other forms.

[00:19:56]Luke Storey:  Probably somewhat like that, yeah. But to your point, this is a really, really important point, because I think so many spiritual aspirants that when they feel called to begin their healing process or their awakening process think that, well, when I get to a certain point, then I am going to be the monk, and sit in the cave, and meditate 12 hours a day for all of humanity, and all galaxies, and universes, right? Whereas, some of us seem to be given the grace and the karmic inheritance of going to those realms from time to time, whether assisted with the medicine or just through years of dedicated, something like Vedic meditation. 

[00:20:34] But the temptation there is to withdraw and think that the way of the renunciate is the only way to be effective and to raise consciousness. Whereas, what you're bringing to the table is the householder point of view, as, yeah, we're going to go into those realms, but we're not going to stay there. We're going to go to those realms to see how we can integrate as much of that realm as possible into our 3D mission as householder, someone who goes and works at the bank, comes home, changes diapers, washes the dishes, does the things, mow the lawn. 

[00:21:04] How can you do that with that same degree of presence and consciousness without having to just let go of everything? Because I always thought for me, eventually, I'm going to pull a David Hawkins or a Ram Dass, and just let go of all earthly things, and kind of float off into the ether once I’m enlightened, and perhaps, that might happen. And if it does, okay, but it seems to be, at least for this portion of the journey, that I'm here to just stay firmly grounded in this body, and carry my work forward, and more of that way.

[00:21:34]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. And it's the difference between being a doer versus an observer, right? And Hawkins is brilliant. Power vs. Force. I forget the other one that they released after he died. I was looking at that. 

[00:21:45]Luke Storey:  Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.

[00:21:46]Kyle Kingsbury:  Not that one. That one's phenomenal too, but his last one. I think his wife released it for him, but it's like The Map of Consciousness or something like that, and it really dives into this. It's brilliant. Absolutely. He was fucking brilliant. He talks about whatever our baseline emotion is, for those that haven't read any of his work, this baseline emotion that we carry throughout the day. We're still going experience all the emotions. 

[00:22:07] So, like an angry person is always angry. Sometimes, there's a flash of happiness, or a laugh that comes out, or an orgasm. But if you're carrying anger as your main emotion, your God view will mirror that. God is a vengeful, angry God. And off the latter, it goes. And down the ladder, to shame and guilt, right? So, all the way up the ladder to enlightenment at the highest frequency, the God view is God is, there's nothing after that. 

[00:22:40] It simply is, all that is, is as it is. There's no layer of coloring. There's no other adjective. There's no description. God is. Well, that's very cool, and I've experienced that sometimes in unity consciousness, but that is the monk. That is the observer. You cannot operate in the realm of I have a self in that space. It's like the idea that you'll dissolve your ego fully. It's like, no, you don't know how to fucking drive a car without, what do you think, learning how to drive. 

[00:23:17] What do you think adheres to the rules of peeing in a toilet or wiping your ass? That's all ego. Ego ties the shoes. Ego pays the fucking bills on time. Like you might dissolve it temporarily, and that's really cool, but that thing is there for a reason, right? And the idea is that that becomes the passenger in the car, not the driver of the car, right? But to say you're kicking it out of the car, you don't understand the importance of it. 

[00:23:43] You don't understand what's fucking speaking right now. Hopefully, I'm still connected and getting little trinkets from the higher self as I communicate right now, but it's impossible in 3D reality to have a self, to have a Kyle Kingsbury without that thing. So, this idea and whoever is teaching that from the fucking guru to the guy who wrote the book that says, you can come to a place where there's a full merging, it's like [making sounds] if you were to remain an observer. The second you have preference, that's the ego. And that's totally okay, right? That's totally okay. 

[00:24:20] It's beyond okay, because just like we choose our parents, and choose our kids, and our kids choose us, and all those other things, we chose to be doers. We chose to be householders. We chose to play the game a certain way. And it doesn't mean we won't learn and redirect that, and that the high self or the demon won't redirect us when we're off course and we need a course correction, but it's to be in the game. It's not to observe the game. We can do that from unity consciousness, right? We elected to come here in this timeline on earth to be a part of the game. And that's something that's really helped me to remember and understand in the sea of chaos that is the world right now. It's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We signed up for this. This is dope.

[00:25:05]Luke Storey:  This is really good because there was a period, especially when I first got sober, well, maybe five years in or so. I don’t think I was ready to go this far, but there is a point at which you start to identify that the ego has been running the show, has been in the driver's seat. And so, the basic math on that, when you realize, okay, the ego, and the misguided intellect that's sort of tied into the ego, and all the survival instincts, and that lower-base animal nature, that's been running me, ran me almost to death. And my case is a little more extreme than some others. 

[00:25:42] Maybe it run me into a divorce, or losing my business, or chronic depression, suicidal thoughts, whatever. For me, it was like, whoa, I'm getting close to the edge of the waterfall here. I got to reel this shit back. Sorted that out, and then came to see how all of that sort of other self or false identity had been driving me to the point of destruction. Therefore, the solution must be just full enlightenment, and negating, and denial of all that, that we have to kill the ego, get rid of the ego, smash the ego, especially in recovery circles, because like alcoholics and addicts are so goddamn arrogant and so enveloped in ego that they can be knocking on death's door, and be like, screw you, you can't change me, man.

[00:26:27] It's like someone's trying to save your life, and you're like, you're a loser. I’m going to do my thing, rock and roll. We're just such idiots in that way, myself firmly included, in the beginning at least. So then, you learn what ego is, and it's been running you, and you start to build the witness observer through meditation and spiritual practices. And in the early stages, it's like I got to get rid of this ego thing. But it's such a great point that you bring up that when that happens, then you're not here anymore. 

[00:26:54] There's no longer you, because what would be the point of being in a body? And that, I think, is the wisdom of the ages with saints, and sages, and avatars that have become embodied, I think of so many of them in India. And there's all of these legends, and I'm assuming some of them are true, where when a sage or mystic reaches a certain point of consciousness, that their body basically just dissolves back into the fabric of consciousness, right? 

[00:27:17] The particle becomes wave again because it's pointless to be here [making sounds] we've transcended. But if I'm still here, 100% solid as hell, well, then I just keep doing the boots on the ground householder work, which, and I'm going to get your perspective of this, maybe the work as volunteering for this incarnation and in this householder message carrier, truthteller, healer of self, healer of other, perhaps, the game then is that ballet dance of consciousness where we can have these mystical experiences and these high states of consciousness that would render us dysfunctional if we were in that state all the time, and you'd need a handler, and a driver, and maybe could barely stay in your body. 

[00:28:05] Maybe it's taking as much of that awareness and consciousness into waking state into body, and learning how to be both in balance, right? Because my personality is here, my ego's right here talking to you. There's a part of me that wants to sound smart on the podcast. I don't want to talk too much, that I'm afraid I'm going to sound like a dick because I'm overshadowing the guest and all these little intricacies of self-protection, and grandiosity, and all those things. 

[00:28:33] But man, I know, and I mean capital K that there is a God-connected self in my heart and in my spirit right now that is so merged with you and so merged with God, and I'm completely cognizant of it, and also acting from that and in that. You see today, I'm doing this with my hands a lot. It's like, because that's the space I'm in. I'm in integration right now. And it's like, whoa, it's almost easy to leave this [making sounds] in a second. It's like, oh, shit, there it is. There's that medicine. There's that more fluid consciousness. 

[00:29:10] But I can't drive around like that, or remember what we're talking about, or if one of the cameras goes down, like there's still got to be an adult in the room, so to speak, or a teenager, I guess I was just describing perhaps the adult. I don't know if there's a question in that, but it seems to me right now, this week, that that's the dance, is like, oh, God, how much of this sweetness and this grace can I carry, and embody, and also be completely willing to be 3D and do the thing? Like right now, I'm looking for a home here in Austin and there are documents I have to give to the thing, and the things, and super 3D like could be stressful, but I'm bringing in a pretty high degree of ballet into that process and seeing the attachment come. You find one, you like it, attach, attach, attach, surrender [making sounds] attach the next one. It's like really, really a dance right now and it's fun.

[00:30:06]Kyle Kingsbury:  That's part of the integration, is the learning that or remembering of that, of that dance. And it's the same thing for me. Like in the podcast game today, I just podcasted with Robb Wolf yesterday, wanted to get it out tomorrow. And my guy who does productions out in Bali, great Dude, but he's gearing up for New Year's Eve, and I want to let him have a fucking dope New Year's Eve. I said, I want to let him, he's going to have a dope New Year's Eve, whether the podcast goes out or not, right? 

[00:30:35] And in part is because of my lack of structure, not getting this any sooner, but I didn't get my ads and I thought I had the ad reads in the folder. They weren't there. And I go to record them as I got to get them out like 6:00 AM this morning because of the time difference. And I'm sitting there and I'm motherfucking everybody. I'm thinking through this, and I'm like right in my sponsor guy, and I'm like, Dude, you said they're in the folder, they're not fucking there. 

[00:30:58] And then, I was like, oh, or I don't put it out this week. Who fucking cares? It was like that fucking quick. And it's like, yeah, I'm leaving money on the table, big fucking deal. And yes, there's a certain degree of privilege to be able to do that, no question. If my back was against the wall, perhaps I would have had a bit more structure and I wouldn't be faced with talking about this right now. But my back's not against the law, so I can just let that go. But it's how much time do I want to spend and choose to spend in the space of panic, chaos, holy shit, this is going wrong, I don't want this to happen, aversion versus collapsing that, and remembering like, oh, yeah, of course, it doesn't matter. 

[00:31:47] Have a fucking great New Year's Eve. We'll get it out next week. So, to me, part of the integration of these teachings is to understand that, A, I am not going to be perfect at any point in human form, but B, getting better, which is part of the infinite game is going to be me collapsing the amount of time I spend in clinging, or aversion, in the form of suffering, and what I view to be chaos, and recognizing that sooner, so it's that much quicker to flip a switch, and just release into that, and say, oh, cool, this is what I can control, this is what I can't control, I understand it now, and then that's how I move forward. 

[00:32:25]Luke Storey:  Yeah, that's really good. So, it's like keeping the awareness of the infinite, and being in in the ethers, and using that, it's kind of like using that awareness as your superpower so that you can still be in the 3D doing the things. And when you start to fall like maybe even below a level of consciousness, going back to the Hawkins’ map, right? I'm driving in traffic, and all of a sudden, oh, I’m in anger, I'm pissed at this guy, or like, he has a nicer car, or we're late. 

[00:32:57] They're going to be pissed. Like when that starts to pop in, because there's that higher awareness that's been more ingrained and it's like a well-worn boot, that in that moment, we have more agency to flip the script, and just go, oops, nope, not going down that path, rather than trying to negate that path altogether, that like, oh, I haven't grown spiritually if I get pissed off, or I have an argument with someone, or I have evil thoughts about George Soros, or whatever. 

[00:33:27] We were talking about that earlier. I think it was Bill Gates that time. But I think it's a sweet spot. It's really fun, I think, to be in that. And in that is that forgiveness when we do really revert back to some old patterns of thinking and behaving, because, man, it's a slippery slope of perfectionism once one starts to make some spiritual progress, then you seem like when you're in that high place, it's as if there's no way I could go back to the old me. 

[00:33:56] I'm not that person anymore. Well, there is a part of me that still can go back there if I don't have that, like nip it in the bud, kind of in the 12 steps, they have a step 10, continue to take personal inventory. And it's kind of an old school, rigid way to say that, but to me, that just means, keep as much of this observer present as we can as we're going, right? So, there's a me doing things, but let's just do our best to build that awareness of the observer that's watching the me do things, and when the me that's doing things is being a dumbass, the observer can go 10% or 10-degree course change, right? 

[00:34:36] And that 10% over the vast expanse of space and time is a huge shift in one's whole perspective and outcome. What I want to talk to you about right now, dude, because otherwise, I'll talk too much, and then my ego will go, you asshole, and someone will troll me, and be like, how about the guest talks once in a while? It's all about you, huh? Okay. Okay. Guilty. I can run my mouth. I admit it. But last time I saw you, we're here in Austin, as I said, I just had a stint in Sedona, as I was telling you earlier, for a-month-and-a-half to prospect that as a home for myself and the lady. 

[00:35:09] And it was evident that that was not the full-time permanent home. Thankfully, that clarity came, loving it here, and can't wait to spend more time with you and the squad that is becoming so abundant and brilliant out here. But last time I saw you, you are at my turf, Malibu. We’re at Soho House. We took a walk down an alley to the beach and some kind of, what's been going on, man? And if I get the story right, it was something like, man, I just took a hero's dose of psilocybin the other day, and I'm thinking, wow, five grams, seven grams. That must have been pretty intense. You’re like, yeah, I took 30 grams. I'm like, how do you even get 30 grams of mushrooms in your stomach? 

[00:35:49] A, like was it a smoothie? And then, you went, and we didn't have a lot of time, but I was like, what's kind of the overview of the takeaway of that depth of experience? And you mentioned something about merging with or communicating with the soul, I think, of your son and I'm really curious about how this all ties into parenthood. I want to kind of steer us back into that, because as someone who's becoming more open and hopefully even desirous of the parenthood experience, as I let go of many of those old fears and programs. I went to someone who was so deserving of sharing that experience with me and I of her, what happened in that 30-gram megadose? And how did you work with that energy?

[00:36:35]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, let me just still give bullet points. I jumped in the 30 grams after a friend of mine sent me a YouTube video from Kilindi Iyi, who recently passed away, who had been doing 20 to 30-gram doses for two decades. And a lifelong martial artist. He had a wealth of knowledge on African plant medicines. And I didn't even watch it. I responded to her with, this guy's a fucking quack. Nobody does that, the higher mushrooms willingly. 

[00:37:02] And then, I felt called to watch it, and then like halfway through, I'm like, damn, this guy's giving me permission. And I recognized the times when ayahuasca had taught me to climb the ladder with psilocybin. I actually had visions of golden mushrooms blooming against a black background, and the numbers seven, nine, and 11. Like it was showing me a trajectory up the ladder to continue to work in those spaces without a curandero, without having to go to the Amazon. 

[00:37:30] And so, I felt super called. And I ended up doing a very strong-strain Penis Envy mushrooms that I didn't realize at the time, which is a whole back story. But I end up doing that. And the very beginning of it, I had fasted the whole day, I did it at night. And yeah, I go and grind it in the coffee grinder, and just mixed it with water, so it was it was a little sludgy, but I was hungry, so it was nice to feel like, oh, this is satiating. Like mushrooms are good and satiating. 

[00:38:01] I learned a lot on the front side of that, that was just pure divinity. Like in the back side of that, ended up being pure darkness, which I learned even more from. But on the front side of the experience, and again, the whole thing only lasted like three-and-a-half hours, I went from 8:30 PM to 12:01 AM, and I was completely back like that. So, I think fasting, having done a cold bath, really trying to ground-accelerated it, but when I thought of Bear, I just saw, there's a photo that I was looking out of my phone of before I went in and I just saw that photo.

[00:38:41] And as I thought of how much I love him, it took me to what appeared to be his soul. And it looked like this fucking giant mountain. Maybe it was an iceberg, but it was this huge structure. And it looked like one letter was coming up from it, which was his real name, not Bear, the soul's name. And I don't know if any of this might just be all fucking make-believe, but I could feel the level of awareness that soul carried. And it just blew me away, like I was stunned. 

[00:39:15] And in that understanding and visceral feeling of his power, his knowledge, his ancient wisdom, the recognition that it is my duty to raise this wise master with as little shit as possible, to not steer him off course in any way, to allow him to experience the world for himself because he already knows most of it, just to give him the best tools for him to go through to protect him when it's necessary, to let go of the reins and the boundaries when it's necessary, and to be a guide. Like not to teach him everything, because, again, he already knows so much, but simply, to allow him to experience it for himself and give him the best tools to do that. 

[00:40:08] It's like one of the visions I had in Sedona of him was the Khalil Gibran quote on kids, where it's like, we don't get to see the future, but parents are the archers that cast the arrow forward into the future. And this is butchering it and paraphrasing, but it's our trajectory of the release of that arrow that sends them as far as they go into the future and how close they get to the bull's eye, right? And so, really thinking about that, it's not so much of like, I'm not telling him anything about God other than like, if he has some advertisement, or he says, I hate anything, it's kind of the old paradox, like talk to him and see here, on that too, God is everything. It's the thing we like and our preference for something we don't like. It's fucking everything. It's flies. It's dog shit. It's all of it. That is the structure.

[00:40:58]Luke Storey:  Even mosquitos? Come on, man.

[00:41:00]Kyle Kingsbury:  Aubrey has a cool vision on mosquitos too.

[00:41:03]Luke Storey:  There had to be a mistake. I mean, that's the one creature I'm like, and what is your purpose? 

[00:41:08]Kyle Kingsbury:  What's sharing our information, what shares our information, what brings that around, what shares DNA, and viruses, and all these things that we might be looking at through a lens of problematic that aren't really that problematic. And that might ruffle some people's feathers as well, but like it's a share. It bridges the gaps for people that we're not going to make out with or have sex with, and does it on a large scale. So, anywho, that's on mosquitos from Aubrey, yeah.

[00:41:38]Luke Storey:  I’ll buy that, makes sense.

[00:41:40]Kyle Kingsbury:  And so, really, with that, with Bear, for me, it's like thinking of critical points in his life where I can set up the dominoes and let him walk through those doorways himself, rites of passage, different experiences that he'll come to know his divinity for himself that go well beyond any fucking word that can come out of my mouth to explain something. Like Ted Decker says, if you can read about the avocado, you can have the best painter paint you the avocado, but until you eat one, you don't know an avocado, right? So, taste the divine. Like if you're the guy that was on Rogan's, Brian something, he wrote Immortality Key, he was with Graham Hancock, it's a phenomenal book on early Christianity in ancient Greece. 

[00:42:27] So, he goes through the Eleusinian mysteries where they were serving kykeon, but naturally, it had ergot on it, which is a natural LSD derivative. And so, this was the way from ancient Greece, which is the foundation of Western civilization, and Western culture, and Western thought, all birthed from those experiences, in Eleusis. And when they started to control Eleusis and say like it's only for the who's who or the bourgeoisie, people started to take that out to the rest of Europe. And when early Christianity was around this idea of the high priestess, it was the women who are the curanderos. They were still making the brew. Wine then was not alcoholic. So, the wine that Christ drank was a psychedelic wine. That fucked with people too. It's worth listening to on Rogan's for the taste test. And if you like it, you can read the book. 

[00:43:23]Luke Storey:  I think anyone listening to this, by the way, this episode in particular and this show in general, the places I've gone on this shit, I think if anyone is still with me, they're down. They're down to go almost anywhere, I would say.

[00:43:38]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. I hardly know my audience, but we've been consistent with the numbers, so I imagine that that people are at least—one thing I always say is just don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, if you're listening to a podcast, and you like 90% of it, and hate 10% of it, focus on the 90 that you agreed with. And then, maybe there's room for that 10% at some point. But this idea that you would drink the body of the Christ to know God through the psychedelic wine that was brought out from the teachers in Eleusis to the rest of Europe to the rest of the world through the Middle East, and that was the Eucharist. When you ate the body of Christ, it wasn't a fucking cracker you got from a Catholic priest, it was a psychedelic journey. And the whole concept that you would die before you die, so you'd know how to live. We don't get that from microdosing. We get that from the big boy doses, right? 

[00:44:34]Luke Storey:  Got it. Alright.

[00:44:34]Kyle Kingsbury:  And so, that's the impetus for the 30 grams. That's the impetus for the heroic dose with the Sonoran Desert toad. That's the impetus for all these things, is to truly experience that, and then to get a level of clarity, and awareness, and direction unlike, alright, cool, I've been playing the game a certain way and I don't have it all figured out by any means, but I have a greater degree of clarity on how I'm going to play the game now. 

[00:45:00] And that's why they do this once a year. So, this was taken out. They had these gatherings, these cultlike gatherings in the forest where they couldn't be taken down. And literally, this is what spawned the witch trials and everything prior to that, the burning of witches when Constantinople, I'm not sure I'm getting that right, but when Rome and the Vatican became huge, they went and snuffed out all these medicine women that were creating the brews, and saying like, this is what Christ wanted, was for you to know God through the experience of God and to know thyself, truly, through a death experience. It's a brilliant fucking book. 

[00:45:44] Whether it's true or not, it resonates highly with me. And that makes sense, because again, even if Jesus was here today, and you stepped into his field, and you're like, oh, shit, I get it, it's me telling you something, and you, listening to it, and for those that are listening to this podcast, you can receive a lot from a podcast, you can receive a lot from a book, but to viscerally experience that for yourself is a completely different experience. Watching football on TV versus going to the stadium or standing on the field, three different experiences. Playing the game, completely different, completely different. And that's, I guess, what some of these psychedelic experiences can offer with the right set and setting, the right amount of reverence and tension, and the right people guiding you through that experience, no question. 

[00:46:31]Luke Storey:  It's a little challenging for me sometimes because, and I talked to Aubrey about this the other day, so for those listening, sorry to say the same thing twice on the same goddamn show, but I don't know, there's this dance of like being in integrity and taking responsibility for my words and things that I portray as positive, a.k.a. promote just due to my own positive experiences and enthusiasm about these. It's like, there's a part of me that's like, oh, the responsible thing to do is to really push the exercise caution piece and minimize the gifts and potential of these experiences. 

[00:47:10] And so, I'm always trying to find a balance there. And I usually do give a disclaimer, something like that, like this is not stuff to play with. If you're not ready, how do you know you're ready? Who can you talk to that'll determine if you're ready? If you are ready, which one of these experiences are you ready for? What depth of that experience are you ready for? And ultimately, I guess everyone's ready for everything at some point, but it's tricky, man, it's nuanced, and especially hearing a little bit about it, perhaps we'll go into that, some of the experiences that you have that have been more challenging. I recently had one that was fairly challenging, but have mostly gone in and out unscathed in terms of bad trips and facing the demons in that way. But I do have friends that have had pretty gnarly experiences. I don't know that it was harmful in the long run. 

[00:48:00] Did they derive more benefit as a net result? I think so. But I also have to be in my own honesty and integrity. And I want to have these conversations because of what's transpired for me in the things that I witnessed other people like you go through and just watching the rapidity of maturation in these experiences, just watching someone evolve so fast, including oneself. It's easier to see the other, but I can look at my life over the past couple of years ago, what? Who is this dude? Like I'm on some other shit. And I don't know that that would have happened when it happened, might have happened in a few incarnations, but I don't know if it would have happened when it happened in that expanse of time space to the depth that it has. So, I just can't resist exploring this. 

[00:48:50]Kyle Kingsbury:  Well, it's alive in you and it's important to talk about, to speak to what's alive inside, because there's a level of falseness when you avoid that out of fear, right? The fear that that will encourage people to—I guess it’s the same reason I talk about 30 grams of Penis Envy, like I don't know many people on the fucking planet that can handle that. And that's not me tooting my own horn, I myself will never do that again without a black belt. I'll never do that solo again even though Kilindi says that's how you should do it. 

[00:49:21]Luke Storey:  In that journey, were you like eye mask, playlist, really going inward or were you cruising around outside? Like what was the set and setting?

[00:49:29]Kyle Kingsbury:  Eye mask, playlist, Music For Mushrooms album, East Forest. Yeah. But again, he talks about ramping up two grams at a time, same thing ayahuasca showed me. I jumped levels to get there, and perhaps, that's the ass kicking I needed to know, like, alright, let's back it down a ways. But I would do that with a high-level practitioner, somebody that can help guide the experience, somebody who knows how to sing Icaros that can guide the experience. 

[00:49:56] And so, briefly, just to state like, where does someone start? I think we can both recommend a place like Soltara where not only do you have high level Shipibo curanderos that will work with you throughout your experience, but you have intermediaries that have been working with the medicine, could easily be serving state side in their own right, but they're still considering themselves apprentices, that some have been apprenticing for fucking 10 years, six years. 

[00:50:23] And they speak perfect Spanish, perfect English, they speak some Shipibo, so there's nothing lost in translation with them. They bridge the gap, and there's other helpers and guys that have been apprenticing for less long that are all there in your service. And it's capped at 18 to 20 people, so you don't have this sea of energy in the room. It's well-contained and they know how to work with you. And even when I was there, the only time I've been at Soltara was my 23rd through 26th nights drinking with Aya, and there was a point where one of the recommendations was to take less, just sit with less tonight. 

[00:51:01] And I grudgingly said, okay, fine, okay, I'll do that. And then, I did and I had just all the beauty in the downloads I could have asked for. It wasn't nearly as visual or psychedelic as the small self wanted. Like I want to get blasted out. Let's go into a different dimension. Let me see this now. It was like, ultimately, the things that I had on my list intentionally were ironed out by far on the final night, where I had next to no visions at all. 

[00:51:28] And I got so much clarity from that experience. And again, Aya, including this practitioner, had showed me a different way to work with that medicine. That's 26 times in, and that's still in its infancy compared to what Dennis McKenna, Gabor Mate who sat hundreds of times, who consider themselves infants in working with ayahuasca. And there are the practitioners, one of which had done a dieta for three years. And his wife was like, hey, you can't keep doing dietas, I need to have sex with you. 

[00:51:57] Like there are some rules here in relationship, circle back home, but thousands of ceremonies that guy’s had and it's still unfolding for him. So, I think it's important when we get in to those spaces, at least initially, to have expert level guidance before you take the training wheels off, and say, okay, I'm good for the solo journey. It certainly has helped me having practitioners guide me along the way through my first couple dozen mushroom experiences and a couple dozen ayahuasca ceremonies. And Aya was never something that I'll pour for myself. 

[00:52:31]Luke Storey:  That sounds like a bad idea.

[00:52:32]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. There are some things you don't do solo. I'm not going to have the death dose of 5-MeO solo. I'm going to have a high-level practitioner there. There are many things that fall within that realm, but I didn't mean to cut you off, but I thought that that was a good way to like grease the wheels for people that are interested. 

[00:52:48]Luke Storey:  That's beautiful and, I think, said with a degree of autonomy and responsibility. Like we're a public figure, you and I, to whatever degree. Like I think I'm largely insignificant, but in my little corner of the universe, there's a few people that go, hey, he did that thing, I want to do that thing, right? So , there iIs, I think, a karmic responsibility to do the best that you can with guidance, but at the same time, it's like, I'm not responsible for someone else's decisions to do something or not do something. 

[00:53:23] I'm going to say, hey, these are some of the things that have been positive. These are some that are less than positive. These are the mistakes that I've made. These are the mistakes that I've observed perhaps others make. But in the end, in the final analysis, in this realm, I don't know that there are mistakes because it seems as though most of us go through these different shadows and places where things get murky and emerge a better, more evolved person. 

[00:53:50] And that seems to be pretty universal, too, with the exception of the guy you heard about that never came back. But personally, subjectively, I've not witnessed that firsthand. Like everyone, eventually, their ship kind of comes back into the dock and all was well, but there could be some rough seas out there. Back on the fatherhood and that piece, something that came to mind earlier, because we referenced both the evolution of what now, who the entity that we're calling your son, Bear, and the levels of consciousness as outlined by David Hawkins, in his model, you enter into each incarnation at the level of consciousness that you previously exited at. 

[00:54:44] So, if you made it to 550, unconditional love, you're doing pretty good in the last lifetime, you're going to come back in at 550 when you're born, but you're also going to invite circumstances and you have karma that's going to unfold that could have you devolve in your level of consciousness as you age as that personality, because you're given contrasts, and opportunity, and free will to go back down, to meander wherever you want in terms of your consciousness and the degree of distance from the Godhead, right? 

[00:55:18] You can drift way out into serial killer land if you so choose or you're taken there, or you can drift fully higher, and higher, and higher to merge with God. So, your son, Bear, comes in, picks you, picks your wife, and maybe even pick some aspects of his personality type and flavor of human, gender, et cetera, but ultimately, he could have, in whatever form he has been in the multitudes of lifetimes, been much higher in consciousness than you or your wife were when you had him. And that's that interesting thing of the teacher, yet he hasn't integrated into this new personality and there's an amnesia that's taken place of all of the nuggets of wisdom that he's gained in prior incarnations. 

[00:56:04] So, it's something you alluded to earlier was that this game isn't about learning new stuff, it's about kind of revealing what you already are. So, how is your son a teacher to you? What are you learning that he might have brought with him, that he's even unaware of, beyond his personality, and the little ego, and the boundaries that he's creating to differentiate himself and all that? Like what do you see in his soul, whether in that medicine journey or in day-to-day life as a parent that's teaching you? 

[00:56:45]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, that's a brilliant question. There's a lot of what I see in him already is it's funny, and it's funny how it interacts with what I've learned, but I'll give you an example, every time we go into one, I never taught him this, never told him to do it, never coaxed him into it, but everyone he comes across, he talks to, and he says, I love you, when we leave, right? The fucking perfect strangers in the neighborhood, right? And most people are like, oh, like they just get caught, and some people, they're like, oh, thank you, I love you, too, like an old person, old lady, usually feels that love. 

[00:57:25] They're not shook by it. And they say, I love you too, and they don't even know each other's names. But more often than not, people get weirded out by it. They're kind of like, eh, and then I feel that, too, like, oh, buddy, I don't ever coach him out of that. Like he's got it. I'm not going to coach you out of that, and say, Bear, we don't say we love each other to other strangers. Like fuck no. Like you're better than I am at that. 

[00:57:53]Luke Storey:  Yeah, you want to teach him there's no such thing as a stranger because there is no them. 

[00:57:57]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. I mean, but for sure, we have boundaries, right? There's the paradox. Like boundaries, I don't want you to get into some dude’s van or whatever. Like there is a sense of protection as a father and a sense of protection that he must come to know for himself to remain safe in the space, not running into a street when a car comes, that kind of shit. But past that, seeing like the level he entered at that you're speaking of is, I don't know if it's higher than where I was when I was a kid, maybe it was just the way that I was raised that kind of snuffed that out, but he's a fucking ball of light and he's got unlimited energy, but he truly loves people and perfect strangers. 

[00:58:39] Like first day of school this year, he meets his new teacher, and runs right up to her, gives her a giant hug, and like an authentic—I hug people for a long time just because the medicine has shown me like, don't give somebody a fucking pat on the back, like give them love when you hug them. And that's a felt experience. A lot of people say like, wow, that's a really good hug. And some people are like, oh, that was quite a long hug. I might be different, but that's kind of how I feel into doing that. It's not always well-received, but that's how he hugs with no coaching. 

[00:59:11] And so, he hugs his teacher, and he's like, oh, I love you so much. I'm so excited to be here. And she just melted her. She was like, oh, my God. And then, talking to her later, she's like, he has so much compassion. Like, what do you mean? Just like, well, the second someone gets hurt, he runs to their side, make sure they're okay, and then calls a teacher over to help. He’s the only kid that does it. And this isn't me like, oh, my son's the best, I’m going to put this bumper sticker on my car. Like, yeah, he didn't get straight As, but he sure has no compassion.

[00:59:39]Luke Storey:  My son was the number one compassion.

[00:59:42]Kyle Kingsbury:  You know what I'm saying? 

[00:59:42]Luke Storey:  Yeah.

[00:59:43]Kyle Kingsbury:  But like there are ways that that has presented itself to me where we are blessed to have such a special little guy. And I think the kids that are coming in now, as we look to the external and the chaos, what is to off balance that? Well, it is these beings of love that understand like they're going to hold a certain frequency that can balance that. They're going to hold a certain frequency that sees through illusion and bullshit. 

[01:00:06] And he does that, too. Like if there's some fucking arbitrary rule that I'm regurgitating from my dad or my mom, that old Papa, sorry if you're listening, but there's plenty of shit where he just sees right through it. And it's not just the repetitive why, it's like, that doesn't make sense. He'll say that that doesn't make sense. And if I'm not in ego and I can be like [making sounds] you're right, that doesn't make sense. Let me see if I can explain this better. 

[01:00:35]Luke Storey:  You make me going into Whole Foods with my bacteria-laden disgusting mask on, and so I’m like, the humiliation of knowing I'm doing something that doesn't make sense. In in that journey where you were in communication with him or observance with him, have you had similar experiences with your newborn, with your daughter? Was there a pre-birth soul conversation, connection, calling in, anything like that?

[01:01:05]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, both happened with ayahuasca. So, my wife and I, I mean, I read this in DNA in The Cosmic Serpent by Jeremy Narby that you could have. When Western scientists went to name harmine and harmaline, two alkaloids in the vine of ayahuasca, they wanted to name it telepathine because people had shared visionary experiences with those medicines, but they were already named harmine and harmaline. 

[01:01:26] And so, that never got changed. I had read about it in books, and I don't know, maybe my fifth ceremony, Tasha’s fourth, we were in circle together and she was talking at Closing Circle about having a vision of me holding a child and her holding the two of us. And I was like, hold on, I don't mean to cut you off, but I've had the exact same vision, right? A month later, it's the same vision, except now, it's a boy and we both have the same vision and recognize it's a boy. 

[01:01:54] And so, you alluded that earlier, but we do pick our gender, which is, that'll ruffle some fucking people on the West Coast for sure. So, knowing that, we knew we were going to have a boy and he told me his name was Bear. And a month later, we were pregnant. And I just wanted to check, like let's confirm this. And yes, it's a 50-50 fucking coin flip, maybe I lucked out, but we have a boy, his name is Bear. In 2016, we were sitting with ayahuasca, and same place, beautiful place, and I asked about my next child who I thought was going to be a boy. 

[01:02:31] I'd been shown two boys and one girl, and I thought, it was going to be the two boys first, and then a girl. And I thought their names were going to be Bear, Wolf, and Jaguar, but in this experience, I turned down, and it goes pitch black, and I feel like I'm in a void, but I feel the presence of this other being, and the being communicates, and says, I'm going to be your daughter, my name is Wolf. And I was like fucking [making sounds] floodgates, and I've had communication with that soul, that was in 2016, she was born in 2020, so four years ahead of time, that was a tough piece to surrender to. 

[01:03:16] And I always thought, I mean, yeah, reading your daily horoscope in the fucking Sunday paper is a joke, but there is something to this. The interconnectivity of all things, the planets, the stars, where we're at, which time of year it is, that all fucking matters energetically for the personality, for the small self, for the being that is expressed, for the growth of that being through the mother, through the food that's available to the mother. All of that shit is intertwined. It's all interconnected. It all is by design. 

[01:03:45]Luke Storey:  Or this medicine wheel that you went through earlier about the seasons and the directions, right? Because there's a season and a direction for you, for your wife, for your existing boy, and the one that's going to come in at some point. They're probably in an etheric, non-physical sense, having their own seasons out there, doing whatever they're doing too, right? 

[01:04:06]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, I mean, it's, literally, the stars line up. And so, really having to surrender to the wind, she was going to come, and how she was going to come, and July 4th this year on a full moon, she shows up and all the planets on one side, it was like the first time in, I don't know, 78 years or something like that where that's happened. And it was just like, huh, I don't know what that means. I'm not trying to dive into that, and be like, oh, this means she's going to be blah, blah, blah, and she's a star child, and all of a sudden, no, I don't know any of that, but I know it did matter. 

[01:04:40] And sure enough, she comes out, a beautiful brunette, and here she is. And I think of that, too, like with all the shit in the world going on, it's like a child born on the 4th of July, right now, smacked out in the middle of quarantine, and Tasha’s wondering like, when she got pregnant, like why did she wait until now to come? And we had to just understand that. That, too, is by design. It's not a, she should have come earlier, and then we would be in the same spot if we had a three-year-old, and a five-year-old, and shit hits the fan externally, but that that does give a little light at the end of the tunnel to see like, oh, people are still incarnating right now, in the fucking madness.

[01:05:26]Luke Storey:  Right. They’re not like, pass. next decade please, next century.

[01:05:30]Kyle Kingsbury:  They’re like, let's go. Let's go. They're saying, yes.

[01:05:33]Luke Storey:  Wow. So interesting. I hear a lot of medicine and just tapped in people in general talking about this generation of kids, the past 10 years or so, right? Ten and earlier, that they're a different breed of human. And I'm not around kids enough. I have a couple of friends with kids, and I see them here and there, and I think, I don't think I was that tapped in when I was eight, but I don't know. I don't know, right? But I mean, they're just kids that you hang out with and you don't feel like, oh, God, I'm hanging out with a kid, this is a little tedious, which sounds like a dick thing to say.

[01:06:12]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, I fucking felt that before and I’m a dad.

[01:06:14]Luke Storey:  But it's like you want to have a conversation like this, and they're like, that thing’s rad. It's like, okay, I can hang with the, that thing’s rad, yeah, John, it's like, I don't know, I’m just speaking of what I perceive to be a more rich experience in some conversations, however these kids, I'm like looking at them and they're saying things, I'm like, uh, what did you just say? And I'm fascinated and enthralled like I am in this conversation, right? So, there's definitely something happening. 

[01:06:42] Do you find, and as we discussed earlier, in this particular place on a planet right now, there is something extremely special and meaningful happening with our peer group and sort of age range? I can only imagine this peer group here and all of the offspring, these star children, whatever era they're from, do you find that outside of your kids, and of course, you have a subjective experience of them, I'm sure, as being complete miracle's more so than you would the next person's kids that you're not related to, are you finding this breed of soul that's coming in with your peers and some of the people here in Austin? What are you seeing in the generality of these kids and babies?

[01:07:26]Kyle Kingsbury:  I do, because it is different. And I want to be careful here. There’s a couple of ways I'll explain this. It's, for sure, going to ruffle some feathers, but maybe in a good way, right? Will Taegel talked about this, D. Will Taegel talked about this, that that the Indigo children, not the children being born right now, that they're the 30 to 40 year olds that have been playing with consciousness, either through meditation practices, yoga, or plant medicines in any way, shape, or form, understanding self, taking deeper dives, burning karma, and really dialing in what the experience is, and how to shape as co-creators right now. Their children are second-generation Indigo children if they choose to be, right? Everyone has free will. Like I say, fuck that, ignorance is bliss. I'm going to get a day job and fucking smoke meth. Like it’s completely up to them, right? 

[01:08:15]Luke Storey:  Sure. 

[01:08:15]Kyle Kingsbury:  But that choice is there. And if they're kept as whole as possible while still remaining safe with some boundaries, I do see that in them. In the school Bear goes to, there's fucking no masks ever. No shots ever. It is a unicorn of a school. 

[01:08:32]Luke Storey:  Is he in the school with Mikki's?

[01:08:35]Kyle Kingsbury:  First day of school, I walk in and Mikki and Del Bigtree are there, and I'm like, is this the fucking twilight zone? What's happening right now?

[01:08:41]Luke Storey:  Damn. That gives me so much hope to have kids because that's one of my myriad of fears, is like, I'm not plugging them into like Tavistock Institute, Marxism shit, which I think, from what I understand, has even infiltrated some of the Waldorf schools and stuff, like I ain’t taking a soul and subjecting them to that level of manipulation. 

[01:08:59]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. I mean, this school was started from Waldorf teachers that left Austin Waldorf. And Austin Waldorf's great. I mean, I have friends that still attend there. It is an awesome school. We loved it for a year, but not knowing where they were going to stand, they said, we're going to follow CDC guidelines, and I'm like, you’re a private school, you don't need to do that, we're out. But the school is awesome. And again, to Waldorf's credit, they're still running good things. 

[01:09:24] They're not putting people through online learning and shit like that. And for a lot of people, there are price requirements to be able to get out of that or you cannot. I fucking get it. I've seen it from all angles. Like my sister, like you've got to go to public school because both parents need to work. Like there's a lot of shit there. And so, it's not like, oh, the children are lost. They're not fucking kids anymore. It's like, no, it's what you do with them when they're out of school. 

[01:09:49] Ben Greenfield talked to me about that. It's having a hard cut at 4:00 PM the moment his boys are out of school. And they might be home-schooling again, but while they were in school for that portion of time, he made sure whatever he had to do work-wise, it was done completely. He's not on his cellphone. He's not fucking turning the TV on, and so he can finish his work. He's done completely so he can be fully present with them and teach them the shit they're not learning in school.

[01:10:16] How to shoot a bow? How to forage for wild mushrooms and edible plants? Being in nature with them even if you don't know those things. Just getting outside and being fully present with your kids is the connection piece that you build. Gabor Mate has talked about that in his book, Hold On to Your Kids. The importance of that, to allow attachments to take place in a clean way to not sever that cord early, which causes kids to look to that from their peer group, never finding a whole way, which leads to gangs and all sorts of shit eventually. 

[01:10:50] It's not to say fucking every kid who is left to cry out is going to wind up in a gang. No, that's not the case at all. But Hold On to Your Kids is a fantastic book because it really illustrated the ways in which both those paths go in their extreme, right? And most people stay pretty close to the center. Most kids grow up just fine, and work through their shit, and have a little circle at night. And they're like, oh, okay, I see what that was, and they get cool from it, but as much baggage as I can leave off my kids, I want to try that.

[01:11:18] And I'm still going to make mistakes. I still have been making mistakes. And that's all good too. Ultimately, like one of these pieces in creating and designing the world we want to live in comes back down to self-forgiveness and self-compassion. It always starts there. And that's something that I've continued to learn and relearn. A lot of people have always talked about, you can only love someone else as much as you love yourself. 

[01:11:42] You can only have as much compassion for another as you have for yourself. And we're the hardest critic of ourselves, is our own inner critic. By far. No one beats our ass like our own self. There's no one. There's no one that does. And if there is, like a boss that is constantly fucking shitting on you, you've called that in. You know what I'm saying? Like you still have a fucking choice. We always have choice. But it's quite likely that that is mirrored in some way that that boss is a reflection of how you view yourself in many ways. So, lots of stuff there. And I can feel like I'm trailing off on the outskirts of this question.

[01:12:20]Luke Storey:  No. I don't think there are outskirts because it's so vast. I mean, we're talking about the karmic cycle of incarnations and the evolution of souls as individual and the collective souls as we evolve out of our humanity, right? I mean, it's like there's so many different and infinite number of directions to go. And I think at this particular time, since we are definitely at a massive turning point, the likes of which I have never seen in terms of the control matrix merging out into the open, just going, yeah, this is how we're rolling, we don't care about you. 

[01:13:01] We want to depopulate the planet and here's how we're doing it. The whole mess that we're kind of in, if you view it that way, now is the critical time because it's the generations that are being born right now that have been born, that are coming into adulthood as this matrix is either crumbling or going for one last grasp successfully and just full on communism worldwide, regression of many, many levels, and the whole decimation of Western culture, right? 

[01:13:31] Despite its flaws, it's one of the most advanced, I'd say, if not the most advanced, not because I happened to be in it right now, but like this culture has brought a lot forward. So, if we're not talking about kids and the direction of them, like what are we talking about in a sense? Right? Because there's only so much we can do before our expiration date in this body. Cool. We can work, man. We can be a household or we can keep grinding, keep growing, but the ones that are left behind are the ones that are really going to carry the ball for us to move forward. 

[01:14:03] And perhaps, we're that for boomers. I mean, I think my mom, and dad, and some aunts, and even my grandma turned me on to spiritual teachers from India and different things like that. I think that they were perhaps more open to because they were exposed to the 1960s, and some of the movements and the merging of cultural ideas, and things like that. So, maybe I'm the trickle effect of that and your kids are going to be the trickle effect of this next level of expansion that we're in. I had an interesting experience I want to share with you. 

[01:14:37] And, oh, man, when we're in the—I mean, not in the weeds, that survivor, because that may sound like you're getting lost, but when we're in the depth of this stuff, in these conversations, I always kind of panic because I look at the clock, and I think, like, oh, there's something we're supposed to be doing. It's igetting too long, but we're like at the 10-yard line, really where I see we could go, and it's like, I just can't wait for another episode. 

[01:15:00] Who knows where we'll be if we’ll be? Because there's so many things I want to unpack, like your recent experience with toad. And I've already talked about mine on this show, but I really want to get into that. But while we're on the soul-level experience, the incarnation level of experience of procreation, and the role that we might choose as participants in this conversation or listeners in this conversation, the idea of fatherhood to me has always been pretty scary. 

[01:15:32] Because of things that I experienced as a kid, I'm afraid those would happen to the kid, that I'm going to suck at this, that I'm going to call in a super demonic, low-level consciousness that I'm going to have to deal with as like some brutal lesson, the loss of perceived freedom, doing what I want when I want, that kind of thing, having to be responsible for something else, when I'm already responsible for all these other things. 

[01:15:57] What if I suck at it? Just a myriad of things that have made that, not something I've been able to really grasp in terms of having a sincere and potent desire to have that expressed in my life. So, it's been a gradual like, never going to happen, never going to happen, don't want to, don't want to, maybe that would be cool, but I'm afraid, into kind of like, I'm a little afraid, but I think I want that, to, I'm pretty sure I want that and I'm a little bit afraid still. 

[01:16:27] It's kind of the progression where I am. And when I wasn't in a relationship, it was like, I don’t have to think about that, just carry on. But now, I'm in a beautiful relationship with a woman who has expressed desires to at least the potential of having kids. Not like non-negotiable, it has to happen, but in a pretty fluid way. It's like, oh, God, that really feels sweet and that's something I want to participate in. So, we're both kind of feeling into that, right? 

[01:16:54] We've got to get our home base, and get officially married, and do the things. There are a few steps, so I think in the linear world. However, a couple of months ago, speaking of big doses of mushrooms in a ceremony in LA and probably just should do a solo cast on this whole thing, so I don’t use up this whole episode, but I was given an invitation to go into my own physical, and sexual body, and male embodiment, how I have minimized and misuse sex as an energy, how I have dishonored my body, how I have dishonored the bodies of others and minimize them to such a basic expression. 

[01:17:43] And in unpacking that, which was like [making sounds] okay, we're going to go here, there was a men's maid on a soul level to many, many people. It was deep medicine. And as I pass through those phases of it [making sounds] with like a lot of courage to go into some pretty weird nooks and crannies, circumcision, like [making sounds] gnarly shit, I took a pause at a moment, opened my eyes, I masked off because I was invited to look at the prospect of having a kid, and what is there for me to unpack in there, and that was pretty scary, to really just be present for that and what might present in that quantum space. 

[01:18:30] Took a pause, called everyone, the facilitators, I was like, I don't know if I told them when I was about to go in, but I said, hey, I need to take a pause, I’m about to go in to some deep shit, but I'm willing. I'm not afraid. I mean, I'm afraid, but I'm going to do it anyway. And so, voluntarily, deep prayer, okay, what is there to see? And because I had just cleared the path of like cleaning up a lot of the nastiness in there, trauma-wise, karma-wise, self-forgiveness-wise, compassion-for-other-wise, all that, like we've done a lot of deep excavation, got a lot of the boulders out of the way. 

[01:19:06] Now, there's kind of this clear path in the field to really get in there, and go deep, and I think because I invited that experience in and I invited the courage and bravery to look at whatever I might find, a very pristine space emerged in which a being presented itself in the form of what could best be described as the brightest white crystalline star you've ever seen. No face, no little baby, nothing like in form, just [making sounds] hey. 

[01:19:49] Hi, Luke. Oh, shit, are you what I think you are? Yeah. [Making sounds] I'm here. I want to come in. [Making sounds] Can I come in? Will you have me? Oh. Got to think about this one, pause, this answer is an important answer, maybe the most important, relatively speaking. And I was just, no way I could deny that because of the purity and power of that being. A high-level, high-level being. And there was just no way I could say no, not, maybe, eh, can you come back later? 

[01:20:53] It was like, oh, shit, I'm at the turning point, I'm at the gate here, I'm at the door, what are you going to do, Luke? Okay. Yes, and I got to check with Alyson. We're going to have to reconvene at another time, but thank you for making your presence clear, and who you are, and what you are, and what your will and desire is. And then, as the experience subsided, I started to come out of the journey, there was like, oops, why did I open that? 

[01:21:33] Not because now I have to show up for that, but there's no way I can't go home and share that with Alyson, like that would be so withholding and inauthentic. If I share with her and it's a go, I'm in this shit, and not cause me to face so many deep-seated fears. And there are so many strands of those fears in where they came from, what they mean, and what they don't mean. But that was a potent experience, man. And in processing that and integrating that, as I've continued to do, I always go back to you, and the story that we got into this with, of going into that realm and having a communication with someone who wants to hang with you and do this thing. 

[01:22:20] And so, I just want to share that experience with you, because it was so potent and beautiful, And that critic in me is like you just did that on a podcast, you realize this? Like I'm in a space this week, man, after the toad, that's it's so relevant to the kind of dream within a dream that I described to you earlier, because now, I'm doing things where the part of me is witnessing, going, you're not supposed to do this, red alert. Shut up. People are listening to you, in terms of just the depth of authenticity and vulnerability. But I'm doing it anyway. I don’t care. 

[01:22:55] So, that's that. Also within that clearing that made that possible was an acknowledgement of the souls who tried to come in before that I participated in stopping. Three. Wasn't ready, didn't know, didn’t know what I know now. And a deep forgiveness in that and an acknowledgment of responsibility in that. And these are the kind of things, it's like, you have these experiences. I can't discount that, It's not my imagination. And even if it is, who cares? Because look what is transpiring in my life. Look what is actually manifesting in terms of who and what I am as a person. It's difficult for me to imagine living this lifetime and not having the opportunity to have those kinds of experiences. 

[01:24:00]Kyle Kingsbury:  I want to jump in and talk to you about readiness.

[01:24:03]Luke Storey:  Please. There was a question in there somewhere. There was a sharing in a beautiful experience, my heart to your heart, but there's also like, unpack this with me. 

[01:24:11]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. I felt like jumping in earlier, but I think there was more. And the second you mentioned participating in the souls that you didn't allow, it brought up this readiness piece for me. There was a reason, not just cosmically why Wolf waited and I was shown this in all the medicine journeys I had from 2016 where I witnessed her and knew she was coming to 2020 when she did come, had four years of working with medicine, and asking why? 

[01:24:40] Why aren't you here? What is the fucking hold up? And seeing that differently too with Bear, we saw him one month, we saw him the next month, and the month after that, we were pregnant with him. It was that fucking fast. Bang, bang, bang. And the first ceremony with Bear was like, oh, wow. I mean, we're just dating, living in my mom's garage, broke ass fighter working at a titty bar. Cool. We're going to have a family one day. It was still way out there. Like cool. Years from now when we're married and I'm successful, we'll have a kid. And the next ceremony, I was like, oh, it's a boy. 

[01:25:18] And I was like, oh, fuck, this is now. Oh, shit, dude, I'm not ready. And I went through every fucking fear, the fact that I lived in my mom's garage, I had no insurance, I made next to nothing as a as a fucking elite-level fighter. I had to have a second job, which was at a titty bar bouncing and bartending. No, didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn't know what lied ahead after fighting or if I was going to be in that bar until I was an old man. And as those fears ballooned up, I realized like, none of this is my shit. There's no perfect time to have a kid. This is what everyone else says. And that ball just moved away from me and peace washed over me. And I realized like, yeah, there is no perfect time. And it's not just my decision, right? 

[01:26:14]Luke Storey:  Yeah, I can’t control the whole experience. 

[01:26:16]Kyle Kingsbury:  But that soul was going to come exactly when it wants. And if there are requirements for you, as I've learned with Wolf, she had greater requirements than Bear did. She had greater requirements from us as parents. I mean, she even came two days late, Bear came two days early. She came two days late, which wound up being the full moon in 4th of July, and it required us energetically clearing some shit, me and mom. 

[01:26:46] And really, that was about us stepping into the vibration that was going to hold her, that there was a lot of work to be done over the course of those four years and shit that I don't need to talk about on the podcast with you that I can really dive into that will connect those dots viscerally through medicine experiences and what we've chosen to do to bring her into this world that is un-fucking-deniable. And I will likely write about at some point, because there's no greater story, in my opinion, about anything that I've done or accomplished than how this shit manifested, the lessons from the medicines.

[01:27:20] But I just want to say, like your level of reverence that you have for bringing a child into the world is the requirement. It is the prerequisite. And if you look, and you've already said it twice on this podcast, when you look back on yourself in the last two years and see the trajectory, you're doing it, man. And you have access to tools that will further your growth, your awareness. And there's never a right time, and you're going to fucking make mistakes, you're going to experience all of it, and it's a ceremony that doesn't end. 

[01:27:55] And there's no greater importance, because if I fuck myself up, and go insane, and I'm single, big fucking deal. Oh, poor Kyle. He died. He went up in the loony bin. But when I got kids, yeah, there are some responsibility there. That doesn't end, right? So, did the stakes get raised? Fuck yeah. Right? Does the responsibility get raised? 100%. And is it worth it? 1,000%. There's no doubt about it. So, just having that reverence, and knowing that, and then you have this intention, this feeling when you say yes to that, then you surrender to how and when they show up, don't get caught up in the trying and we want it now. 

[01:28:32] That's a big piece I had to let go of with Wolf, was understanding she is coming, it's just not on my fucking timeline, right? It's everything Dispenza teaches. You make your intention, you surrender to the how and when. Suffering only occurs when we attach ourselves to the how and when. I want it now and I want it this way, that doesn't leave much room for the all consciousness to sort of a better way for you, right? And same thing goes when you're picking out houses, right? 

[01:28:59] Like you understand that. Like I fucking love this one, I want it, somebody else put a better offer on it, fuck, now, we're going to get a shit house or you find a better one, right? You just have to wait a little longer. That constantly happens throughout life. And as our awareness raises, we begin to track that, and say, oh, yeah. I remember when that happened in this thing. And then, okay, cool. I'm just in the point right now where it's uncertain, right? And like on the grandest scale, we're just in the point right now as humanity awakens where we say, I don't know what the fuck is going to happen. 

[01:29:34] I see fucking lights going up on every streetlight, on every camera. There are cameras on every fucking light now, at every intersection, 5G towers are everywhere. It's not causing coronavirus, but boy, is it going to be perfect for mapping people? Facial recognition in real time, which is already going on in China. And all the other shit that we're learning. And it's like, this thing that we're in right now, can we stand in the eye of the hurricane and understand that this might be the pressure on a global scale that's necessary to bring us about the thing that we're calling in, to bring about a healing, to bring about the understanding that we are all one and to live with that level of reverence for one another? 

[01:30:22]Luke Storey:  Letting go of control. That's the message. That's the takeaway from me. And I'm someone who can be quite controlling out of the lack of trust in different ways. It's like with the having a kid thing, what you're describing is like you ain’t in charge of this shit because I have this imagined timeline. And it's funny. I have a great example of what you just described. Well, I met Alyson, my fiancée, years ago, she was on my podcast and we were in at a place or I was, and especially at that time, was not dating, nothing. 

[01:30:57] So, no flirting, just all business. But we remained friends. So, we met years ago, but when we became a couple, I had been out of a relationship for a few months. We were sitting in ceremony with peyote for a weekend and I had a very, very rigid construct of how I thought I was going to enter into a relationship again because I didn't want to do it “wrong” again. I didn’t want to hurt myself again, didn't want to hurt anyone else again. 

[01:31:27] So, I have this blueprint and I'm going to follow this blueprint. And if I do it this way, I'm going to get the right person at the right time. And I liked her, great. I was positive. I felt good about where we're going. If I had high hopes that we had potential for that, but it was going to be a whole different plan than what unfolded in that medicine, which is like, basically, our second date was a 48-hour ceremony in which we became a couple through some challenging conversations and a whole turn of events that I've described on prior episodes with her and I. 

[01:32:03] But it's a great example of that trust in the divine, and that, sure, you have your little blueprint, that's cute, but if you can really surrender into your innate wisdom, and trust, and intuition, and align that with God's ability to match you there and meet you there, that's that sweet magic spot of the unknown. And I think as I experience more of those where I see the control grid forming, and I'm invited to surrender that control grid, and collapse into the potentiality of goodness and safety that is God, not that the other is not, but you know what I mean? 

[01:32:46] Just like, oh, okay, I know I can trust and really lean into this. And if I look at that experience, it's horrifying to me to think of, what if I would have said no to the opportunity to trust into that and to just totally scrap my whole master plan, which I did in the course of about a 45-minute conversation? Not that she was putting any pressure on me, but there was inner pressure in like [making sounds] there's this knowing that there's an opportunity for you here, Luke, with this person that is really, really special. 

[01:33:17] And if you want to stick to your little blueprint plan, now is the time to bail and go back to that plan, but she's probably not going to be around waiting for your plan to match hers because she is in the moment right now fully available to this. And there was an awareness of that. And there was one of those turning points like, oh, God, this is scary, do I want to go there? And it was just, I can't not, she’s the one. This makes no sense. 

[01:33:42] What am I talking about, Luke? Wake up. You're crazy. It's medicine, and it's like, no, this is it. This is it. This is my one. And then, I express that, scary as it was, woke up the next morning, and we had given kind of a pause on that, like I was given an out, like, cool, Luke, thank you for acknowledging me and where we are. And I'm excited that you seem to feel that there's a possibility here, but why don't you just sleep on it just in case you're tripping and you can't hang, basically? 

[01:34:13] And she'd probably kill me. I'm sure I'm butchering the whole story, but this is kind of my perception of, as best I can get to subjectively. And then, the next morning, hey, good morning, how are you? We never had sex or anything like that. We're just totally like coming at this from a really different place than I ever have. And so, like, so, how are you feeling? Basically, like, here's your out, what's up today? And I was like, I'm still in, like just terrified, reluctantly, like, oh, my God, last night, I was so sure that this was the thing, and now, I'm kind of half-asleep. 

[01:34:46] Is this real? Is it not? And I just had to lean into that, just that [making sounds] it's like a 51%, there's a 1%t like this is it, I'm sure, I'm going to lean into that, and I did, and it's so hard to imagine like, oh, my God, I can't imagine how whack my life would be, or so I think, if I hadn't entered into that with her. So much magic has ensued, and so much growth and healing has come out of the expression of vulnerability, and love, and intimacy, and my capacity to connect with another person is so much bigger than I thought was ever possible for me. 

[01:35:26] I thought of other people, I kind of watch it, and I go, good for you. How do you that without losing yourself? Like how do you merge like that and still have a you? And that's what I'm experiencing now. So, in your description of that calling and that acknowledgement that this shit is not up to you, it's up to you to say yes or no based on your wisdom, and intuition, and connection to God, and just hoping you're choosing the path of the highest good, right? 

[01:35:59] And then, it's just going to do what it's going to do. It’s so good to hear right now because I have a very linear plan for the kid thing, if it's going to unfold, as I think it might. I’m like, cool, so we're going to move here, live here for these many months, we're going to get whatever, the bank balance is going to be right here, we're going to lock this in, lock this in, then we're going to have this incredible ceremony, get a doula, the whole shit. You're going to eat this detox, saunas. I mean, it is a big plan if I started to unfold it from that place of control, and fear, and non-trusting versus just going, okay, let's apply wisdom well and discernment, and know that like this shit's not up to us. 

[01:36:35]Kyle Kingsbury:  And you're part of a concert, you're part of the orchestra. You're going to play your violin, she's going to play the cello, whoever else is a part of that's going to play the wind instruments. And that's all going to flow in harmony with a certain degree of doing, being, right? A certain degree of intention, surrender. All of that paradox back and forth is how you weave that tapestry together. But I mean, all the things too, like I got your midwife, she's awesome, 100% organic, it's fucking flawless, everything you need to know preterm, how to get pregnant from a dietary standpoint, nourishing traditions, book of child and baby care, Dr. Thomas Cowan and Sally Fallon from Weston A. Price Institute, highly recommend that one. There's a lot of things where you're not doing it alone.

[01:37:30]Luke Storey:  So, it's not as much of a rolling of the dice. Like I picture this very black and white linear like either I'm controlling the entire process and driving everyone crazy like her in that process or else just complete, like, ah, whatever happens, happens, roll the dice and just end up with a totally jacked up situation. This is the polarity of the monkey mind, right?

[01:37:53]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. You can explore that gray area, and just flow with that. 

[01:37:57]Luke Storey:  Yeah, that's wild, man. That's a very, very insightful. Thank you for that. I think what I want to cover in the remaining time we have is the experience that you just emerged from with the Bufo alvarius toad, this bizarre creature that creation has delivered here on the Earth plane for us. And we just unpacked a bit of my experience and a little bit of yours before we started. And I don't know if this episode or the one I did here with Aubrey is going to come out first, but that episode was basically like my integration and he was just kind of assisting in the integration. 

[01:38:38] And we shared some insights, but it really was like a pretty detailed account of the whole experience. So, I'll leave my story for that. But what you started to describe to me sounded incredibly intense and otherworldly. So, maybe if you could give us kind of the background of what this particular molecule is, your prior breadth of experience with it, and what happened in this one, and how you're sort of integrating that at this stage.

[01:39:09]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, phenomenal, brother. This is awesome because I'm finally in a place where I can talk about it. 

[01:39:15]Luke Storey:  Right. If we were to record it last week, it could have been a completely different situation, right?

[01:39:20]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, I don't think I would have had the mental capacity to speak about it with any degree of clarity. And also, I’ll dive into this, I really wasn't sleeping for two weeks after. But 5-MeO-DMT is the molecule amongst others in the Sonoran Desert toad, and it's about 15% to 20% of the secretion that comes out of this toad that is that. There's bufotenine, there are some other things, and it's vaporized. And from a molecular standpoint, one of the differentiations between that, and then DMT, which we produce when we sleep, we produce at death, it's in just about every plant on the planet at varying degrees, is the fact that N,N-DMT can create this otherworldly interdimensional travel, whereas 5-MeO is dissolving into unity, most typically. 

[01:40:11] That can look like a total white out, a total blackout. At high enough doses, what they would consider a threshold dose, or a death dose, ego death is a full dissolve of the not prefrontal cortex, default mode network. So, when the default mode network goes down completely, there's no memory of what happens in that space. On the back side of that, as you start to reform self, then you can have an experience. Now that I had probably, I'd say, 15 solid doses in the 80-milligram and up range that were incredible, but I haven't had the threshold dose.

[01:40:50] This is the first time that I'd done that. And in preparation for that, experience how my first two combo experience is. So, I came in really cleaned out mentally, physically, emotionally, astrally, whatever, the energetic body as well as the physical body was really pure for that. And this ended up being about 100 milligrams, which is a big dose, the practitioner we worked with, an initiation dose would be about 125. 

[01:41:18] Now, to people who haven’t experienced these numbers, don't mean shit. To people who have experienced it, most people typically don't work with it in that way. They say, if you go too far, you don't remember or you can have troubling experiences. And so, you don't want to work with it that way because there's no downloads there. Their understanding and this is the Seri tribe out of the Sonoran Desert in Mexico. 

[01:41:42] This is the tribe where you cultivate this medicine from. So, this is like the Shipibo equivalent in Mexico for the toad. They say, this isn't always how they work with it before the initiation. This is what they do. And there's benefit to that. Even from a science perspective, when you have the complete shutdown of that part of the brain, you get much more neurogenesis and much more cross-flow between the left and right brain hemispheres. 

[01:42:07] So, there's hardware benefit as well as software benefit. And I was like, cool, sign me up. So, we went with less than 125 because I was fresh off a combo. I'm always nervous for this, no different than ayahuasca or psilocybin, but I was able to slow my heart rate down. So, when I took in the one and done, I was able to hold for a really long time and we did it standing at a trust fall in the practitioners’ arms. And apparently, I stopped breathing for a minute, and at that point, they go in at a very high dose to bridge you back to your body. 

[01:42:37] So, they do this. And there's a portion where I had to ramp up. There's a portion where I forgot, total loss. And there's a portion where I started to track on the back side. When I started to track on the back side, I had the practitioners, there are four of them. I had a practitioner's hand on my heart, saying, that's it, that's it, just breathe, just breathe. And then, I heard crack pipes jingling in the background for the meditative dose that they take to tune into you. 

[01:43:03] I heard the torch click, click, and then I heard a purge from one of the guides purging on my behalf because that happens in the energy space or can happen in the energy space. Repeat, that's it, that's it. Just breathe, just breathe. Click, click from the glass [making sounds] purge. That's it, that's it. Just breathe, just breathe. On fucking loop. Now, I had experienced this on the backside of the 30 grams of Penis Envy where I saw this wormhole come out, and it was pitch black, and it lands on my lap. 

[01:43:38] And I'm calling in like, come here, little buddy. It's okay. I had a mandala that spun out as darkness. And I looked in it, I was like, what are you? And there was like a ring around it, like a glass. Like the outside of a glass full of water. And I realized what’s separating this dimension to the rest of the room. And I was like, oh, you're the darkness. Can I go in there? And the answer was yes. And I'd learned that from listening to a lot of different practitioners like the DMT Dialogues, fantastic book with Rupert Sheldrake, Graham Hancock, Dennis McKenna, Strassman, a lot of the legends in the space. 

[01:44:09] And they all say like, when you come across the darkness, don't shy away from it. It's there to teach you something, right? So, here I am presented, I say yes, I go in, and I experienced infinite levels of hell. Five layers that I wrote about and talked about on another podcast. But I only got through a layer with complete and total surrender in the 30-gram experience, it repeated itself over and over again. It went from very conscious fears that I have to very unconscious fears that lie deep in the cracks of my being. 

[01:44:41] Until by the end, the fifth layer was just shit I don't like in real life, like the sound of a refrigerator buzzing by my head. Like it literally felt like I was sleeping next to one. So, I rolled away from that flashlight in my eyes, oh, I don’t like that. Felt a knife in my side where I've had back pain, oh, I don't like that. And it was just showing me this over and over again until I finally fucking—I was like, alright. And because it was looping and slower with 30 grams, I would recognize the loop at some point. 

[01:45:08] And eventually, I just start calling it like Bob Costas, like, oh, yeah, then she's going to explode, then the earth ends, and then fucking consciousness ends, and it's all my fault. And there's blame similar to how you experienced in one of your visions, like just the shaking of the head from Tasha and everyone that I love and care about, like, yeah, you did it, you fucking fractured your psyche. You're fucked now for eternity. 

[01:45:30] Like everyone I know and love, just like prayer hands like, I'm so sorry this happened to you. We told you not to do it. Like over, and over, and over again. And it was only when I fucking did, I was like, yeah, Purangi’s coming in now, and Gunter's is going to say it. And then, it would become a joke, then I would go to the next level. And I'd experienced that for four, or five times, or some innumerable number, and I'd be like, oh, I'm in a new place, but it's still hell and this is going to happen next, right? 

[01:45:57] And so, when I talked to Duncan Trussell about this, he mentioned Dante's Inferno. And one of the first lines is, abandon all hope ye who enter here. And I always took that as, you’re fucked if you go to hell. But no, that's the key code out, abandon all hope ye who enter here, is the way out. That's your fucking key out of hell, is to literally not give a shit. You give up hope of it ever changing. You don't cling to the end, you simply allow. 

[01:46:29] And so, that was easier to do in 30 grams, and of course, I didn't know this till after the fact. I had to wrestle my way through it. But in the 5-MeO space, once this loop started, I fully recognize it as holy shit. Now, to put perspective in, in every ceremony I've ever had with the Sonoran Desert toad has been pure love, pure divine union, like dissolving into source. You feel like you're inside a star, I mean, and just like every cell of my body, physical and etheric vibrating with the frequency of love. 

[01:47:03] And so, for this experience to come up, I was like, what? I felt fucking tricked, like were all those experiences just to get me to the point where I realize I'm in hell? Like there's a twilight episode Rogan talks about where this guy goes in to a casino, and he starts rolling craps, and he can't lose. He's really nothing but seven-elevens and all these beautiful women come to his side, and he's buying drinks, and he's getting drunk, and everyone loves him, and he's able to have whatever he wants. 

[01:47:33] And over time, he starts to get depressed, and he calls the pit boss over, and he's like, something's wrong, and he’s like, well, man, you're doing the best you've ever had. Blah, blah, blah, you got all this money, you got all these ladies. What's the matter? And he's like, I can't lose. This isn't fun. This doesn't feel like heaven, and he said, who said, you're in heaven, right? And then, that's how it ends, right? 

[01:47:54] Like no, you realize like that without the challenge, without that, like, what the fuck? Where do you think you are right now? And so, there was this feeling of deception and being duped. And that's a common trip report if somebody has a fucking gnarly experience to feel that way, but this manifests, it changes and shifts from that loop to deeper layers of consciousness. And one of the realms I experienced on 30 grams was that this is my creation, it's through the egoic self. 

[01:48:29] Like not that we all created this and we're all one, but you are one. And everything is a fucking figment of your imagination. And you are so alone as the only being, you can't handle being alone, and it inverted everything. So, we talk about paradox, but any spiritual teaching I had was flipped on its head. So, the idea that we elect to forget when we incarnate so we can travel through life and remember our own divinity, as like the beautiful awakening process was inverted. 

[01:49:01] It was like, no, bitch, you forget because it's too painful, this level of sorrow and aloneness that you have to fucking deal with, it's unbearable. You forget, because that brings you joy. It's the only way you can experience the light. It was the ultimate darkness. And the whole experience is under an hour. But in that point, there is no such thing as time. So, I don't know how many times my consciousness looped through this, but I could go on and on about the experience. 

[01:49:31] But eventually, I fucking come out of this, and I'm like, holy shit, and they're like all smiling like, I moved around a little bit, but then I was like a Zen master, and they’re like, how was it? And I'm like, this is fucking eternal hell. I know worst isn't the wrong word, but it's the first word. Unbearable, but I bared it like it fucking sucked. And he's like, good, just eat a good meal, go home. Reactivations can happen when you're sleeping or meditating. It's not going to happen while you're driving. 

[01:50:00]Luke Storey:  This is after the toad. 

[01:50:02]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. And so, I eat, 49ers are on, I'm like, cool, 3D reality memories. I grew up watching them in the Bay Area. Awesome. Make it home just fine. Feel good, go to lay down, my hands and feet start buzzing, and I'm like, huh, should I throw music on? Like I feel like I'm kind of still in it now. And I was like, no, I'm just going to meditate. So, I meditate. Every time either as I'm about to fall asleep or right on the back side of falling asleep, I fucking feel like I'm holding in that first hit, like I fully fucking feel it, full of vibrations through the body, fractal light starting, and I know what's on the other side. 

[01:50:43] And I'm like, no, and I just fucking jerk up in my bed like [making sounds] heart's just pounding, woosh, woosh, woosh. And I mean, it was really, really hard. And I should say, I had a second hit when I was coming out of it in the experience. And because that's typically how they do it, it helps you process. And I was like, I knew I was going to say yes prior to that, so he asked me how I'm doing, I'm like, I'm fucked. And he's like, well, this will help you process. 

[01:51:11] And I'm like, okay, I'm ready. So, I take the second hit. And what happened was once I took the second hit, brought me right back to the beginning of the hell loop. So, now, I thought that, oh, how perfect hell is to let me think I'm going to come out of this, but knowing my constitution and what's been ingrained in me, I'm going to say yes for eternity to going back into this fucking loop. Every time I come out and think I'm out, I'm going to say yes. 

[01:51:36] I'm never going to change my answer and I'll always fucking go back to this place. That's what I've grappled with the second round and just brutal. But now, I'm in bed, I can't sleep. It's happening every fucking 15 minutes. I'm timing it like Tasha’s contractions, 30 minutes, hour. Finally, I'm like, oh, my God, I need to be grounded, I don't surrender at all to having this experience solo. I surrender to not sleeping tonight, but I don't surrender that going back through this. 

[01:52:07] And I ask God to ground me, and five minutes later, Bear comes running in, and he's like, I'm scared. And I'm like, so am I. And I just fucking snuggled him, and meditated with them, and I'm able to hold resonance. But for 16 days, I had trouble sleeping. And eventually, I got to a point where some nights I was able to surrender and I went into new dimensions of hell, new dimensions of fear, like this isn't God knowing itself, this is super intelligent AI knowing itself that we've already pre-approached that, and that fucking super intelligent AI has created the whole thing. 

[01:52:42] Like any fucking fear and it would morph into fucking other fears that I'm completely unaware of in my consciousness and I would live that experience. And ultimately, because of the lack of sleep and everything, it started blurring the lines between my waking consciousness and my sleep. And it was very hard to track. Like I'm having a conversation with Bear, and it's like, in the back of my head, I'm like, of course, you'd say that, I'm still in hell and you're fucking going to say whatever you can to fuck with me. 

[01:53:07] Not like, you’re five years old, I was exactly like you when I was a kid and fucking likely every generation prior in how I hold that space with you. I didn't make any mistakes, I just froze, like fight, flight, or freeze. I didn't lash out at anybody, I just froze. And Tasha could feel that like, dude, what the fuck's going on? And finally, she's like, I think you need to call Paul Chek. And Paul's, he's been on my show seven or eight times, brilliant dude, 59 years old, one of the only people I know who is probably the best living example of a psychonaut that's gone as deep or deeper than I have, a family man, a businessman, somebody who checks damn near every fucking box as a spiritual teacher that hasn't moved into the, I'm now a fat spiritual teacher, but I'm still taking care of myself. 

[01:54:00] My body is my fucking temple and he lives that every day. And I've been able to sit with him in the past, so we have rapport, but I told him where I was at, I asked him for a call. Christmas Eve comes, I think we're going to talk for 20 minutes, we talked for two hours. He's like, did you close the ceremony? I'm like, no. He’s like, okay, you're going to get saged. You're going to take a bath with 12 drops of frankincense. And in the bath, you're going to state to God everything you've learned from the darkness, what it felt like, what the lens was, and what you're going to use with those teachings going forward on how to live. 

[01:54:35] And you're going to ask, the soul is the intermediary to bridge what God’s showing you in your sleep, in these visions to your psyche, so that Kyle Kingsbury understands it and you're going to ask humbly that it comes through your dreams. That way, you can actually sleep. So, I do all this. Christmas Eve, I go to bed and I have the most psychedelic fucking dreams ever, but there's no fear. It's not even a nightmare. 

[01:55:01] They're beautiful. I record one that was like an eight-minute recording, I can play, I can't even remember right now, and then I hear this voice, and it's funny because the compass of the darkness, because of the inversion, and what I mean by that, it's truly unexplainable, but any positive thought I would have as a holding, it would be inverted immediately into a negative one. It would just show me the opposite. And I explained this to Paul, and he’s like, well, that's because God at the highest level is nothing but paradox. 

[01:55:30] And he talks about that. That's why the thou cannot be spoken. The second, I was just like, oh, that's a cute way to put it. And he's like, no, no, no. Literally, you can't speak the thou because the second you label that one thing, the opposite is true as well. It's fucking everything. It's everything. It is. That's when we move back to observer, right? And my psyche can't fucking handle that knowing even though it's a part of it and it is it. 

[01:55:57] So, again, how do we track 3D reality? We have to have boundaries. We're not boundaryless all the time, certainly, not in this space. There's a lot of stuff we went over. But he got me back in there, and after this dream, I recorded it, and I heard this voice come up that was like, go to the bathroom, drink water, and then throw a snooze in, throw some tobacco in. I was like, interesting, but I might not sleep. And I'm like, is this the ego saying it or the high self? 

[01:56:25] And I’m like fucking all day overanalyzed the fuck out of it, and finally, I just listened. I go to the bathroom, I drink some water, throw a snooze in, and I laid down, and I have the most brilliant short dream of my wife, which totally explains to me what I've been tracking, everything I've been trying to learn about God, or trying to learn about the game we're in, or fucking any of it, viscerally, I see my wife and I see her as the divine mother. 

[01:56:52] And what she says to me is, I created you, I created the great father. And I'm like, okay, and what is that? She said, that is the external. That is the game. That is the Matrix. And I was like, wow, so like Mother God creates Father God. And I say, well, what do I do? She says, you're the son. Be a man. Like, what the fuck does that mean? Play the game you're in as the divine masculine embodiment. Play the game. 

[01:57:27] You fucking chose it, so play the game. It was so simple and maybe it doesn't resonate with anybody at all listening to this, but from where I was that mentally in wanting to understand consciousness for fucking years, wanted to understand why are we here? Why do we fucking hurt each other? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Like a little kid, so many whys, to the point where I've wanted to check out numb, or to the point where I wanted to kill myself, or to the point where I play the game, but I do so in a self-organized way, where ego’s steering the ship. 

[01:57:59] And that was another teaching, like the Roomi quote, there's a field outside of right and wrong, just past good and bad, I'll meet you there. That's a tough pill to swallow if you really grab it. This ultimately means, none of this shit fucking matters, per se, it's only about experience. But if I bring it back to Kyle Kingsbury as a self that has that connection to the source, I get to choose. That's where we co-create into me right here. 

[01:58:29] It does matter how I play the game. And I get to choose to live in love. I get to choose to be light for others. I get to choose to say, hey, that's fucking not cool. Let's change the game a little bit. There's a little too much control in the world. Boundaries are necessary, but let's take some of those off for a bit, right? Let's bring back harmony rather than control systems. And whatever that looks like in whatever way I can to however many people are listening to you and me, like that's where I just do my part. 

[01:58:57] Dolores Cannon talked about that in the Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth. A lot of the people she was working with in past life regression and in working with the subconscious, they consistently had many, many things that overlayed, people across, she’s been doing it for 30 years, different continents, many similarities, different decades, many similarities. A lot of them felt like, I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing here, but I'm not doing it and I don't know if it's big enough. It's always enough. If your influence is your boyfriend, that's the only person you have the ability to share that light in love with. 

[01:59:32] That's it. If it's people at a nursing home, if it's students that you teach, if it's people in your fucking one side of the cubicle in the office that you work in, whatever that is, when you're the light there, that influences, that's the tree that plant seeds, that plants other seeds, that plants other seeds, and that's the trickle effect, right? So, all of that does matter. On any fucking scale, it is felt throughout the all of consciousness. And so, the reminder was play the game, you're not going to solve the unknowable. And if you do get to solve the unknowable, maybe there's a reason why it's unknown, and that's okay too. Like leave the thou as the thou and play the game. 

[02:00:13]Luke Storey:  Sitting here today, do you feel fully embodied in the 3D now? And if so, in light of the, sometimes, terrifying experience that you just went through, is there sitting here a part of you that's like, yeah, I'm going to sit with that medicine again?

[02:00:35]Kyle Kingsbury:  For the first time, I understood that, and I don't know if it's Ram Dass or Alan Watts, but when they say, when you get the call from God, hang up the phone. I used to laugh at that. I was like, yeah, these guys are just doing fucking acid or a little bit of mushrooms. They didn't have 30 grams. They didn't have ayahuasca. These are challenging experiences, getting turn inside out physically when you're throwing up and you might poop your pants, that's not fun. 

[02:00:57] You're not getting high, right? No one once said that. And I love Ram Dass, Becoming Nobody is one of my favorite books in Audible, series of his lectures in his 50s, but they talk about that, like you're addicted to getting high, you're addicted to being with source and not being in the 3D, you've lost your humanity is what Alan Watts told them while they were drunk. And so, when I heard, you get the call from God, hang up the phone, I always felt like there are just more layers. 

[02:01:23] Like that's like, there's more to learn. And Dennis McKenna's done hundreds of ayahuasca ceremonies, and people have asked him like, when are you going to stop? And he says, when I stop learning something new, right? So, I imagine at some point, I will circle back to a deeper level of medicine, which may be the Sonoran Desert toad. It may be psilocybin or ayahuasca. But if I start getting a repeat of that message, then I'll know to hang up the phone, right? 

[02:01:49] Because I'll know like, if there's nothing deeper than this or if I need more time to integrate it, then I'm clearly not doing the work necessary to continue on that path, and then I'll hang up the phone. But for now, I don't imagine any time in the next six months where I go use any tool that can take me that far. Now, very much, I feel called to play the game in 3D reality as I chose it, as I chose to be in this timeline with the people that I'm connecting with, with this fucking beacon of light that's coming out of Austin right now, drawing people towards it.

[02:02:26] And what better time? Del Bigtree told me this, he’s like, if you're a freedom fighter, if you have an inner warrior of light, if you have anything that responds when there is—and truthfully, not a social justice warrior, but fucking somebody who knows what time it is and is willing to stand up to injustice, what better time to be alive than right now? What fire that burns inside you isn't lit right now knowing, here we go, we get to stand arm in arm and make sure that there isn't a fucking global one world government that controls everybody? Right? 

[02:03:06] That we do protect whatever freedoms we have left, that we stand up for freedom of speech, that we stand up for the right to bear arms, all the things that we need to have to prevent this from going down. This is a dope time to be alive. And Rogan's talked about that before, like if you lived a thousand years ago, seven generations prior, seven generations after, it will look pretty damn similar, right? Thousand years before that, pretty similar. 

[02:03:32] Thousand years before that, pretty similar. And here we are, we watched corded telephones go to fucking cellphone, go to the ridiculous Zack Morris handhelds, and the car phone. And it's like, oh, shit, technological age, information age, access to all these things. And then, oh, yeah, now, we're going to start to limit that, and curate it, and make it look a certain way. Whoa, wait a minute. This isn't where we were headed, what's going on? Right? So, like how fascinating? 

[02:03:58] And how much awe in like to step back from figuring it all out into the curiosity, into the great mystery, and still know that the only thing that I need to do is what's right in front of me. Like [indiscernible] talks about, the guy driving the truck, why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Gets out of the truck because there's a log in the road, picks it up, moves it, gets back in. Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here to God? Not realizing every car behind him was able to drive smoothly because of him. It's the work of the day is the work that's right in front of you, and it's how you show up to that work, and chop wood, carry water. It's as simple as that, but to do it in a way with reverence, with respect, and with the great mystery in mind.

[02:04:40]Luke Storey:  That's badass. Wow. An incredible journey. It's wild, dude. I admire your courage and stick-to-itiveness. It's a lot. I think a lot of people say no to that, takes a certain fortitude of spirit to really walk into the eye of the storm like that. It's incredible. 

[02:05:04] It's incredible to participate in and observe. And that examination of what we're experiencing now where our God-given rights are truly being threatened, our right to sovereignty, freedom of expression, freedom of movement, right? 

[02:05:20] Freedom over our own bodies, and what goes into it, and what doesn't, it's as if people can do what they want, it's all like karmic opportunities, right? But if one acquiesces to that without thinking critically, without standing up for themselves, it really is kind of a slap in the face of one of our greatest gifts, which is the individuality of who we are and being born as sovereign, wild humans, right? God give us this gift of perspective and embodiment, and for us to just acquiesce to being controlled and having that robbed from us without giving up a fight is a real karmic test, there's something that we're being asked to step into and step up to right now. 

[02:06:12] And as I was talking about the humiliation I feel when I walk into Whole Foods and I know that I'm breaking a law of reality by submitting to wearing a germ-filled diaper on my face, there's just something inside me that's like, no, yet there's also an observer like, you’re just playing the dumb game that everyone's playing, like chill, and then I do it. But I still, it's hard for me to accept because I think it's that piece. It's like, I'm going, well, God, I don't know. 

[02:06:41] I don't want to be the one everyone laughs at, or the one that's deplatformed, or whatever. And then, you look at the guy like David Icke, who I've been following his stuff. I mean, not that I've bought into 100% of his theories or whatever over the years, but I haven't negated them either. Like you said, throwing the baby out with the bathwater. You look at a guy like that 30 years ago was describing in grave detail what's happening right now. 

[02:07:07]Kyle Kingsbury:  Aldous Huxley, Brave New World. 

[02:07:09]Luke Storey:  Right. 

[02:07:09]Kyle Kingsbury:  George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four. 

[02:07:10]Luke Storey:  Yeah. 

[02:07:11]Kyle Kingsbury:  To the fucking T, in fact. Brave New World starts out with one possible future, what the powers that be would like, where they have 100% control over reproduction. And all humans of the slave race are made in fucking labs and they're predestined to what type of role they'll play. And they know enough scientifically about how to shape the outcome of those babies and you have 10,000 twins born at the same time, genetically engineered. You would listen to that book or read it, and you're like, ih, this is very eerily similar to some of the shit that we started. Even the Clive Owen movie where they couldn't have fucking kids anymore. It’s like you look around right now, fertility clinic.

[02:07:55]Luke Storey:  Yeah, it was a great movie. What was it called? I forget, something of men or-

[02:07:58]Kyle Kingsbury:  No Children For Men or something like that. 

[02:08:00]Luke Storey:  It sounded like that. Children of men, I think, it was. That was the proposed apocalyptic film. That was a great movie. I loved that genre.

[02:08:06]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah. And Clive Owen’s dope, but the writings been on the wall and that's what makes it weird in the sense that like it's so available, V for Vendetta, you watch that right now, and you're like, of course, this is the Wachowskis who did The Matrix, like that's who wrote V for Vendetta. And it's so spot on. Like they got the curfews. It's in England, cameras on every fucking streetlight. They're not allowed out. The strictest dictatorship and totalitarian control and technology, technocracy being used to make this a reality. 

[02:08:44] And meanwhile, in the United States, the United States is still at civil war, right? So, like who knows if that prophecy comes true, right? I know fucking no one in Texas is laying down for this, but at the same time, like do we really want civil war? Is there another way? But when V gets on the microphone from the one media station that exists, and takes over all the TVs, and all the radios, he says, you will ask yourself, how did this come to be? Who brought this upon me? Who is to blame for this? Said, take a hard look in the mirror. 

[02:09:17] It is the acquiescence, it is the turning away. It is the not looking at the thing. It's putting your head in the sand like an ostrich, and saying, I don't want to hear it. It's the cognitive dissonance of what truly is going on in the world that the Joe Pantoliano in The Matrix, why did you take the red pill? I want to eat this steak, and know that it's a steak, and not wonder if the computer algorithm got it right or not, right? It's wanting to go back to ignorance is bliss. It's every fucking person that says, well, I'll just take this shot, and then we'll go back to the normal. We'll get things back to the way it was, fantasy land. There's no going back. We're here now. There's no going back.

[02:09:58]Luke Storey:  I know every couple of days I see another airline gets on board with the COVID passport and shit, and I'm just like, I got to get to Texas quick. Like I guess I ain't flying anywhere, get ready for some long-ass road trips just to hit the border of the state I live in, because no, that ain’t happening. That’s to see it's a stepping stone, the totalitarian tiptoe, right? And it's almost like a spiritual agreement and I think that's the thing when I put on a mask and go in a place, because I want something, I'm willing to sacrifice what I know to be true and right. And it's almost just saying yes to the next tip toe of that. 

[02:10:35] And I think that's what pisses me off about it, because I'm like, Luke, you're like inviting the Grim Reaper inside, because you're like, okay, I'll do this, you know what I mean? And there's a real war inside me around that. And as I said, and then there's also the part that's like, Luke, this is all a game, right? This is all just duality. It's beautiful. It's precious. It's all God. So, just play the duality game. Who cares? Like you're actually above and beyond that. So, I don't know what the answer, it's like either I have to just accept that part of it or it's a hard no to all of this and I just have the most steadfast integrity, and I order everything delivered, and I refuse to go on an airplane or anywhere that requires me to accept a lie knowingly knowing that it's a lie.

[02:11:21]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, medical exemptions might be the next step. If you've got a cool doctor, things like that, eventually, it's building out systems that improve sovereignty, right? So, it's not just decentralized, it's centralized locally. It's, how do we have local things come together where we build a community that is sovereign? And that's I had Joyous Heart on the podcast. I don't know if you've met him. 

[02:11:45]Luke Storey:  I met him at Aubrey's a couple nights ago.

[02:11:48]Kyle Kingsbury:  He's phenomenal. 

[02:11:49]Luke Storey:  Yeah, I walked up to, he was having a conversation with Alyson, and there was a punctuation point, and I dipped in, and listened to him, and I was just like, ah, what? Who's this dude? And I was just, two minutes, I was like, we got to talk. And I saw he was on your podcast. I'm going to listen that. 

[02:12:06]Kyle Kingsbury:  Check it out and have him on, dude. He’s special.

[02:12:08]Luke Storey:  Yeah, he was blowing my mind.

[02:12:10]Kyle Kingsbury:  Yeah, he's got a lot there. But building a community where you have your own water, you have your own food, you're doing regenerative agriculture to restore the land. He's homies with David Avocado Wolfe, who definitely knows what time it is and has worked with Texas already. You could do three acres of greenhouses. You can grow anything year-round. You could grow ayahuasca. You can grow literally anything you want year-round and produce enough for not just the 100 families that live there, but all surrounding cities, and have farmers markets, and make it wealth-generating and still inclusive. 

[02:12:41] So, you’re on grid, but not dependent of the grid, you're producing your own power, your own everything. This is what he's been working on for 10-plus years. And him and his wife had the download to come here and done medicine January 1st. They were like, oh, shit's going to pop off in March. We need to move here. And they moved from California. They've been homies with Mikki Willis and it's like this odd orchestra starting to fucking gear up, and it's gearing up. And I see that happening. And it's a beautiful thing. And, yeah. I mean, there's a lot. I think that if we only focus on the negative, we only focus on the shit that's wrong, we don't at least include the light and the beauty, right? 

[02:13:23] Like whatever that is that's outside of us or way out far from small self, it has to be tracked back down to small self. What is the next step? How does that change, the way that I operate right now? And I don't know necessarily that like I'm not taking a stand in not wearing my mask at Whole Foods, but if I'm downtown Austin, there's going to be a lot more fucking weirdos that look at my son, and say, why doesn't he have a mask on? And that's where I have to be like, there's a boundary here. But I go outside of town where it's a little less progressive, and a little less indoctrinated, and nobody gives a fuck that he doesn’t have his mask on.

[02:14:00]Luke Storey:  I know you mean progressive, I'm calling this version of progressive that we're seeing unfold regressive because it actually is. We've already done this guy's, like how many regimes have come in with these same ideas and failed? And not only failed, brought down literally hundreds of thousands of human life forms with it. It's just incredibly how myopic and short-sighted some humans are. 

[02:14:23]Kyle Kingsbury:  Have you see that megalithic structure that went into, I think it's in Georgia or Utah?

[02:14:28]Luke Storey:  Utah, yeah.

[02:14:30]Kyle Kingsbury:  And it's in 12 different languages, the most prolific languages spoken today, but also Sanskrit, many of the ancient languages. 

[02:14:37]Luke Storey:  Are you talking about the silver obelisk thing that appeared in the middle of Utah or whatever?

[02:14:41]Kyle Kingsbury:  And it's like, in the first line, it says, keep humanity's numbers at 500 million in right relation with the Earth.

[02:14:46]Luke Storey:  Oh, you’re talking about the something stones, yeah.

[02:14:52]Kyle Kingsbury:  Okay. Yeah. It’s interesting to see that that number- 

[02:14:54]Luke Storey:  I thought you were talking about, there was a mystery like chrome obelisk last month that showed up in the middle of nowhere in Utah, and then disappeared, and then appeared somewhere else. Different thing. You're talking about those guide stones, I think, maybe they're called in Georgia. What's the deal with that?

[02:15:09]Kyle Kingsbury:  Well, I only know the first line. It's keep humanity at 500 million, the population of 500 million or less in right relation with the Earth. And so, I don't know, I can't begin to know how this thing plays out, but it is possible that a very large number of people, acquiesce, can see themselves off the game board. And the Hopi prophecy talks about that, Will Taegel has it repainted, but there are seven beings on this top line with their heads disconnected from their body that go on a trajectory that leaves the sacred hoop or the earth. 

[02:15:44] And then, there are four with their heads connected to their body, a few connect to the Earth that usher in the fifth stage of human consciousness. And I ask like, how important is this right now? In my head, I ask this. Like, do I need to tell this to my kids or my grandkids? How important is this right now? And the wind almost blew us over. It hit that hard instantly. It wasn't windy at all. And I was like, okay. I mean, floodgates opened. And I talked to Will about that experience. And he's like, it's right now. We're in this right now. And it doesn't look necessarily how we've perceived it to be and we'll only know when we come out of it, but that's where we're at, the big change, the great awakening, we're in it. 

[02:16:26]Luke Storey:  I was expecting the big change to be giant rainbows with like unicorns sliding down with pots of gold spilling into my house.

[02:16:34]Kyle Kingsbury:  With free energy technologies. 

[02:16:35]Luke Storey:  Yeah. I was like, yeah, totally, man, teleportation, all that, I was like, really, this is the new earth? Okay. But that's a great perspective and I think a really solid place to end the deeply beautiful conversation during the course of this, and I'll probably allude to this in the intro, I'm just going, what a gift to be able to be where I am in my life right now, and have the ability to connect with people like you, and have this kind of communications. These exchanges are just so meaningful. 

[02:17:11] It's like every one I do just takes me deeper and deeper into my knowingness and into love. It's incredible. And the sweet icing on the cake is really that some people are going to get to listen to this and probably a bunch of them have already tuned out at two hours, like what the fuck are these guys talking about or what a couple of dumbasses or whatever? That totally doesn't matter. But the ones that are still here right now at 2:19:14, they're the ones that are going with us. 

[02:17:47] And not that those are better than other, but it's just an incredible ship to be on right now at this time. Wow. What a time, dude. What a time to be incarnated and what a time to be able to access these touch points of reality in the way that guys like us are. I'm just like, every one of these talks makes me experience just such deep gratitude. It's incredible. It's like, whoa, this is what we get to do right now, and thousands and thousands of people get to participate at whatever level they feel called to participate energetically, joining in, being in the space with us, incredible, incredible experience. 

[02:18:29] And I'm so excited to get myself and my life out here, and be able to spend more time with you and the amazing squad of people out here. It is truly, truly incredible. Something so special is happening. And don't want everyone else to come, though. There's already little too much traffic here for my taste. No, I'm just kidding. I know people, so like I'll post something from Austin, and then it's inevitable that a couple of Texans are going to be like, yeah, you Californians, don't bring the this with you and the that with you. 

[02:19:02] I'm like, dude, no one from California is even from California, starters. I don’t even know one person born there out of 32 years in LA or something. But we aren't going to do that. We're bringing the best of the best. And anywhere that I go, I want to bring my best self and as much generosity of spirit as possible. So, it's been so nice to be so well-received here and just looking forward to like, wow, kind of magic that's going to unfold.

[02:19:26]Kyle Kingsbury:  Big time, brother.

[02:19:27]Luke Storey:  So, thank you and thank you for the inspiration on fatherhood, dude. It means a lot to me. [Making sounds] It's a bit of a minefield for me to go into and you really helped me contextualize it. And the takeaway there is just surrender, man, you're not in control of this shit. You're a volunteer and a participant. So, thank you for that. 

[02:19:47]Kyle Kingsbury:  Beautiful, brother. Thank you. 

[02:19:48]Luke Storey:  Yeah. See you next time. 

[02:20:02]Kyle Kingsbury:  Hell, yeah.

[02:20:03]

sponsors

Just Thrive | Probiotics
Link to the Search Page
Beekeeper's Naturals
Link to the Search Page
Kin
Link to the Search Page

HEALTH CLAIMS DISCLOSURE
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated the statements on this website. The information provided by lukestorey.com is not a substitute for direct, individual medical treatment or advice. It is your responsibility, along with your healthcare providers, to make decisions about your health. Lukestorey.com recommends consulting with your healthcare providers for the diagnosis and treatment of any disease or condition. The products sold on this website are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

continue the discussion at the life stylist podcast facebook group. join now.