439. A New Mom’s Guide to Conception, Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum & Parenting w/ Melissa Ambrosini

Melissa Ambrosini

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

In this episode, we welcome back to the show the insightful Melissa Ambrosini. The conversation you're about to drop in on is all about Melissa's journey into motherhood and everything she's learned along the way to becoming a first-time mom – so we spend time honoring the important challenges, the blessings, and everything in between.

Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, PurposeFULL, and Comparisonitis, the host of the top-rated podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show, a keynote speaker, and entrepreneur.

Her mission is to inspire others to unlock their full potential and live their dream life. With a deep commitment to empowering others to become the best version of themselves, Melissa believes that transformation is possible for everyone. She strives to inspire others to reclaim their power, step into their truth, live with intention, and move in the direction of their dreams.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

In this episode, we welcome back to the show the insightful Melissa Ambrosini. Named a self-help guru by Elle Magazine, our friend, Melissa, is also the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and the Audible original, PurposeFULL. She also happens to be host of the #1 rated podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show.

The conversation you're about to drop in on is all about Melissa's journey into motherhood and everything she's learned along the way to becoming a first-time mom – so we spend time honoring the important challenges, the blessings, and everything in between.

And Melissa and I also talk about her incredible new eight-week guided course called Wholy Mama, wherein she and a group of other world-renowned fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and even parenting experts, guide members through the entire process of doing all of this holistically. 

I highly recommend checking this out if you intend to have kids. I know I personally can't wait to get in there and learn all of this stuff myself. You can check that out at lukestorey.com/wholymama.

00:04:05 — Living With An Open Heart
00:13:06 — Getting the Perspective of a New Mom
  • Wholy Mama: lukestorey.com/wholymama
  • Meeting her husband: when you know, you know
  • Priming their bodies for parenthood 
  • Healing her own birth experience
  • The moment she knew she was ready to have a child
  • Eighteen months of attempted conception (!)
  • Integrating the body, the mind, and the spirit
  • Considering her unborn child’s kharmaic journey 
  • Conceiving and having her daughter 
  • Finding her soul's purpose
00:39:17 — Taking on the Spiritual Assignment of Pregnancy 
  • Looking for warning signs 
  • The impact of stress on the birthing journey 
  • Working with a functional medicine doctor 
  • Cortisol vs. reproductive hormones
  • Visionary psilocybin ceremony 
  • Check in on Luke and Alyson’s journey
  • Being as chill as you can possibly be
  • Supporting a pregnant woman in your life
  • Avoiding alarmist conversations and negativity 
01:03:02 — Conscious Conception
  • Beautiful conception practices 
  • Losing connection and finding it again
  • Making love in order to make pure love
  • Holding space for spontaneity
  • Seed retention benefits
01:14:37 — Assembling A Dream Birth Scenario
  • The importance of who is in your physical space
  • Birthing where you feel the most safe
  • The beautiful role of the man in birthing
  • Conducting a post-birth debrief 
  • Choosing your birth team wisely
  • What comes with the Wholy Mama program?
  • Wholy Mama: lukestorey.com/wholymama

More about this episode.

Watch on YouTube.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:00:07] I love being a mum, and I truly believe that I've had those experiences not only because I've done the work, but because it's been a choice that I've made and now I am so committed to helping other women have an empowered experience and to enjoy motherhood, because this journey from maiden to mother, matrescence, they call it, is one of the biggest life transformational experiences women go through. This is Melissa Ambrosini, and you are listening to the Life Stylist Podcast.

Luke Storey: [00:00:58] What's cracking, folks? We're doing it again. In this episode, we welcome back to the show, the great Melissa Ambrosini. Named a self-help guru by Elle magazine, our friend Melissa is also the best-selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide,  Comparisonitis, and the Audible Original Purposeful. 

She also happens to be host of the number one rated podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show, where she shares her wisdom and interviews with the biggest thought leaders and experts, including yours truly in the world, to help her audience unlock their full potential and live their best life. 

You can find show notes, links, and transcripts for this one at lukestorey.com/mama. The show you're about to hear is all about Melissa's journey into motherhood and everything she's learned along the way to becoming a first-time mom. So we cover the challenges, the blessings, and everything in between. 

Here are just a few of the topics we get into. Conscious conception and the value of making love to make a baby; what needs to happen physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually in order to get prepared to conceive; what it really takes to create a blissful pregnancy; the importance of creating boundaries with friends and family who want to offer negative or fearful advice about your birth journey; creating an empowered birth experience wherein the mom feels totally safe and honored throughout the entire experience; and how couples can create a birth support dream team with a doula and/or midwife; how to choose an ideal birth scenario for yourself, whether it be at home or in a hospital. 

And Melissa and I also talk about her incredible new eight-week guided course called Wholy Mama, wherein she and a massive group of other world-renowned fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and even parenting experts guide members through the entire process of doing all of this holistically. As you'll soon find out, enrollment for her course is available today through November 3rd, 2022, at lukestorey.com/wholymama. And the wholy here is spelled W-H-O-L-Y by the way, so lukestorey.com/wholymama. You will also find this link in the show notes on your podcast app. 

I highly recommend checking this out if you intend to have kids. I know I personally can't wait to get in there and learn all of this stuff myself. All right, that's it. Now please join me in welcoming Melissa Ambrosini back to the Life Stylist Podcast. Enjoy the show. Melissa, welcome back to the show.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:03:30] Thank you so much for having me. I always love catching up with you.

Luke Storey: [00:03:35] Likewise. And it's been a few years. I feel like we had you and your husband, Nick, on the show, what? Four years ago, five years ago, or something?

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:03:44] Yes, I think it was around five years ago.

Luke Storey: [00:03:48] Yeah.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:03:48] Pre-COVID.

Luke Storey: [00:03:50] It was. Yeah. And you all came to my apartment in LA where I started this podcast. And I remember the show was essentially around conscious relationships. And you guys were sharing your experience with me. And at the time I was really struggling in that area and I was very keen on learning healthy ways to engage romantically and had very little experience. 

And I remember there were a couple of things that stood out about that interview and we'll link back to it in the show notes, which by the way, will be lukestorey.com/mama because we're going to be talking about motherhood today. So we'll link to your prior episode. 

But there were two things. One was that I remember you two met, got engaged, and got married super fast, yet you had a healthy relationship, to this day you seem to be doing great. And that was totally counter to what my experience had been at that point of going fast. But then I had that experience with my wife Alyson, in a very similar way. So now I understand when you know, you know. 

But there was something one of you said and it has out of the hundreds of interviews I've conducted here in the past six-plus years, one of you said this, and I will never forget it. And I think of it often. And you said something to this effect. I'm going to paraphrase it, but it was like, "Nothing good ever comes from closing your heart." I don't know if I phrased it right, but for some reason that just hit my nervous system and I was like, "Luke, don't forget that."

And I've actually applied that principle in my relationships since that moment with some consistency, and especially in the relationship I'm in now. Maybe I'll just quickly share my experience of it and you can elaborate on what you meant and how you use that in your relationship. And then we'll get into motherhood and all the things. 

When I find that useful is either party in the partnership gets triggered by something that the other one says or does. And now understanding trauma and PTSD, I can see, oh, there was something in the past that hurt me. And so the thing that's happening right now in this moment is subconsciously reminding me of that past event and I'm overreacting to what's happening now and thus feeling that contraction or that need to pull back and withhold or close my heart and protect myself. 

And so how I apply it is when I feel that sense of resentment that starts to build on the back end of being triggered in the moment, and if my mind starts going, "You know what? Fuck her. How dare she say that?"
When I start building a case in my mind or wanting to give the silent treatment or whatever, I want to do it to show them that I'm pissed off or any of those games, that statement comes to me and I interpret all of that as a closing of my heart. 

And I just remind myself, this is not going to have a positive outcome no matter how good it might feel in this moment. It's a very temporary satisfaction and it's definitely only going to make things worse, not better. And I've been pretty freaking good, I have to say, about just even when I want to be pissed and I might even be right. In a court of law, you say, "Luke, you're in the right here, partner is wrong."

But even when I feel like I'm right, I just surrender that and let it go. And as a result of you guys telling me that, I think I've really been able to avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict and drama and just move through things very quickly.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:07:29] I'm so glad.

Luke Storey: [00:07:29] Yeah. So I just wanted to thank you for that at the top of the show. Just one of those little things you could just say in passing, and it changes someone's life and it certainly changed mine. So thank you for that.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:07:40] Oh, you are so welcome. Yeah, I loved that time that we got to spend together. I love all of the times that we get to spend together. We always have such a great time connecting and dropping deep on all things. And we were there at your house promoting open wide, my book, and my husband's song, open wide. And the book is called A Radically Real Guide to Deep Love, Rocking Relationships, and Soulful Sex. 

And in the book, I talk about nothing good comes from closing, and it's one of my favorite mantras. Nothing good comes from closing. And this is something that Nick and I to this day still remind each other of because I cannot think of one time where I have ever shut down my heart, closed off and it has worked out for the better. 

I can't think of one time where that's happened, where I'm like, "Yeah, that worked out really well. I'm really glad that I did that." I'm really glad that I shut my heart off and closed down and rolled over in bed and said, "No, I'm not talking to you." And I have not remembered one time where that has ever worked out really well.

And so in those times where you do want to, every cell in your body wants to shut down, wants to roll over and just go to sleep angry or whatever it is, the work is opening yourself back up, opening your heart back up, pulling your shoulders back, opening your heart, turning to your partner and saying, I'm sorry or let's talk about this. 

That's the magic. That's the work. And this is literally-- and it happens in all of my relationships, in my friendships I do the same thing. Whenever I feel myself shut down, I do that work and I open back up. Doesn't mean it feels easy all the time, but that's the work. 

So I'm so glad that that resonated with you. And everyone listening just think about this today. When you're out in your day with your partner, with your friends, with your work colleagues, with your children, notice when you go to close down and open your heart back up instead and then see what happens because connection and intimacy happens after that. And vulnerability connects us. And so your relationship then deepens as a result. So give it a try.

Luke Storey: [00:10:22] I love it. And in thinking about that, now that I say it and repeated, it sounds so simple and some people listen and probably be like, "Well, duh, of course." But in practice it can be very difficult, especially I think at stages in my life when I hadn't worked through a lot of my issues and just unhealed emotional stuff, even if I wanted to not shut down, I could literally couldn't stop myself from doing so because that reaction had just become so automated and innate. Like there's no way I'm going to be vulnerable and really express how I feel and leave myself open to being hurt. So I just have to shut down. 

I didn't even have a choice. But I think something about it for me that's been really important and that's made it possible is actually being with someone who's worthy of the trust for me to be vulnerable. And I think in the past in relationships, there have been dynamics where it probably wasn't always safe to emotionally become vulnerable like that. And so it might have even been prudent and wise in some cases when I was in relationships that were more dysfunctional to withdraw a bit because it was so unsafe because there was so much craziness and codependency and just drama there. 

But now I find it easy because I know that in my case, Alyson's always going to come back around, even if there's a rocky moment. It actually is safe to not shut down because I know neither one of us are leaving, and I know that neither one of us are going to do anything intentional to hurt the other. So there's a foundation of safety and security there that for me makes it possible to not close my heart. 

And I got to say, I think the whole time we've been together and what I learned this from you before I was with my current wife, I think there's only one time where I was like, "No." And I ran into my room. We're in this apartment. And I was like, "No, I'm going to teach her." And I went into my room and I spent the night with a close heart. And I was like, I'm not going to go in and say, I'm sorry. We're not going to make up. She's going to have to just suffer the rest of the night. She probably just went to bed just fine. But the next morning I thought of that and I was like, you know what? It's true. Things aren't any better because I did that because now I got to undo being a dick.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:12:50] Totally.

Luke Storey: [00:12:50] Now there's damage control that could have been spent doing something more productive. So anyway, I don't want to get too far off on that tangent, but like I said, it just goes to show sometimes you say something in passing and it can really impact someone's life. So beautiful, beautiful principle. 

All right. So let's talk about making babies. So you've got this beautiful daughter who's now a year and a half old. And I became aware of that, I think, just from seeing you on social media and stuff like that. But recently learned through Alyson, that you created this incredible course on conscious parenting and birth and all the things that are supportive to people that want to have kids in a more conscious way called Wholy Mama. 

And so then I started to revisit what you're doing in this area. And I was like, "Oh man, she's really on this path." So I thought it'd be cool to have a conversation, especially from the perspective of a new mom, because I have interviewed doctors and different people and doulas and things like that that are on the support side, but I don't know that I've really talked to someone about their subjective experience in their whole journey. So I want to go back to maybe the beginning with you. 

When did you start to feel that you really wanted to have kids? Is that something that as a little girl or a teenager you knew that you wanted? Or is it something that hit in your 30s that later in life? How'd that go for you?

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:14:17] I was not that girl who dreamt of her wedding and having babies and being a mommy. That was not me. And I have friends that finished school, and they were like 18, and all they wanted to do was get married. And they dreamt of their wedding day and their big, beautiful dress. And being a mom, that was not me. I just didn't do that. And I didn't even think about it. I just didn't do it. 

It all hit when I met my husband in 2013. So we had known each other for about three years before we actually got together. But he was in a relationship and I was in a relationship. And we were both doing a lot of healing in those relationships. They were our big healing relationships. And then we both found ourselves single. And at that time I'd seen him and I was like, "Oh, he's really handsome and he's a really good catch." But I never allowed myself to think anything more than that. 

And so we both found ourselves single and we kept on being put in the same room at different events. The universe kept on putting us in the same room, and we'd never run into each other like this ever before. When we then got together, we knew straight away-- I knew straight away that I was going to marry him and I was going to have his babies. And we fell in love. We fell in love straight away. And like you shared before, we got engaged after two weeks. And then we were married five and a half months later. And this is almost 10 years ago now. 

And people used to say to me, when you know, you know, and I was like, that is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard. And then I met my husband and I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is what they were talking about. This is when you know, you know, I get it now. Okay. I understand." And so I had said before I met him that I didn't want to get married and I didn't want to have babies. I thought that because I wasn't with my soulmate. And then I meet Nick, and I am like I want to marry you and I want to have your babies. 

And so we began our conscious conception journey in 2013. We went and saw a naturopath straightaway, literally a few weeks into our relationship. We went and saw a naturopath together and we said, "Run all of the labs for baby-making on both of us. We want to start priming our body now." And the naturopath was like, "Oh, that's so exciting. When are you guys going to start trying for a baby?" And I was like, "Oh, not for years." And she was quite perplexed. She was like. "What?" And I was, "No, no, I'm just getting ready."

And I'm the type of person that whenever I do something or I'm interested in something, I research it to the nth degree. I research, I read, I watch documentaries, I am obsessed. And so I became obsessed with all things conscious conception, fertility, pregnancy, empowered birthing, orgasmic birthing, postpartum, the fourth trimester, and conscious parenting. 

And I also just need to add to this. I became a stepmom straight away as well. So I have a 16-year-old bonus son, so I was instantly a stepmom. So that sparked the conscious parenting interest. And back then, babe, in 2013 there were no podcasts on conscious parenting. Dr. Shefali wasn't doing the podcast circuit unconscious parenting and doing live events, and so it was really hard to find information on conscious parenting back then.

Luke Storey: [00:18:22] Perhaps now more than ever, humanity is under an incredible amount of stress. How even when the world is not this insane, normal life can be stressful. And aside from just being uncomfortable, stress can take a toll on your body, raising your blood pressure, making it harder to sleep, draining you of vital energy, and making you more irritable.
That's why I strongly recommend that you supplement with magnesium daily. A shocking 75% of people are magnesium deficient. That number might be even higher among business owners and sea-level professionals. That's because stress depletes magnesium levels. And this can, of course, trigger a vicious cycle of rising stress and severe magnesium deficiency. 

This magnesium stuff is so important that it's involved in over 300 chemical processes inside your body. It's a critical mineral. Having enough magnesium can give you better sleep, more energy, healthy blood pressure, less irritability, a calmer mood, stronger bones, reduce muscle cramping, and even fewer migraines. 

Sounds awesome, right? Well, to experience these health benefits, you have to get the right kinds of magnesium. And most synthetic magnesium supplements just don't cut it. That's why I recommend Magnesium Breakthrough by BiOptimizer. It's the only organic full-spectrum magnesium supplement that includes seven unique forms of magnesium for stress relief and better sleep all in one bottle. 

This stuff is incredible and I actually took one this morning before I left the house. I was thinking about that as I record these ads, I'm like, "Okay, when did I use it last?" Yep. It was today and almost every day. 

So for an exclusive offer for you Life Stylist Podcast listeners, go to magbreakthrough.com/luke and use the code LUKE10, checkout to save 10% off and get free shipping. That's magbreakthrough.com/luke and use the code LUKE10.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:20:17] So I became obsessed. I read everything that I could. I had piles and piles of books on physiological birth beside my bed, and all of these topics. And my friends would come over, see the pile of books on my bed and say, "Are you guys trying to have a baby?" And I was like, "No." And they're, "When are you thinking?" I'm like, "I don't know. Maybe in three or four years." And everyone was just like, "What do you mean? What do you mean?" And so I was just like, "I'm obsessed. I want to know everything." I started doing a lot of healing of my own birth.
So I had a couple of sessions with this incredible lady where she takes you into a meditation where you go back to your birth and you heal stuff with your birth. I did a lot of inner child healing work. I did a lot of red thread lineage healing work. And Nick and I were both priming our bodies. And we did that for 2013, '14, '15, '16, '17. 

And then in 2018, October 2018, I woke up one morning, I rolled over to Nick and I said, "I'm ready." And he was like, "Just like that?" And I said, "Just like that." Literally, that maternal switch was flicked on within me overnight, and I had never had that yearning before that moment.

And so at that time, I was doing a heavy metal detox. I had high levels of mercury in my system. So we were detoxing all of that out. So we decided to start in January 2019 and we had the most beautiful ceremony that we called on her spirit. We spoke to her, we meditated. We did a chant. It was beautiful, perfect. And I literally thought we would get pregnant the first time. I had no fear around that. I know a lot of women have fear around that. Maybe they're like, "I'm too old."

I know a lot of women have fear around that. I had no fear. I was 35. No, sorry, sorry. I was 34. And I thought. Surely? No, I would have been 33. I was 33. I can't remember. It all meshes into one. I thought we would get pregnant straight away and it didn't happen that first time. 

And I was so perplexed. I thought, I have been prepping for six years. I am the healthiest I've ever been. How has this not happened the first time? And then we went again the next month and it didn't happen again. And then the next month and it didn't happen again. And the next month and it didn't happen again. And that went on for 18 months.

Luke Storey: [00:23:29] Wow. Wow.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:23:31] And my heart would break every month. Every month when I would get my period, my heart would break because that yearning to be a mother was so strong within me. And like I said, I'd never had it before. And so that yearning to be a mother just grew deeper and deeper.
And I lived my life in two-week increments, either waiting two weeks to ovulate and then waiting another two weeks to either find out I was pregnant or get my period. And so I lived my life in these two-week increments for 18 months. And it was the most, hardest spiritual assignment I have ever been on. And I had a really big rock bottom moment in 2010 where I ended up in hospital. And that was a big change for me and a big pivotal moment in my journey. 

But this was harder. This was harder because it was this prolonged,  never-ending, which felt never-ending, yearning and pain within myself. I was in so much pain. I couldn't understand why. Why is this happening to me? I'm so healthy. I couldn't understand what was going on. And I would cry. Every month I'd get my period, I would just cry. And that yearning grew deeper. Some months when I would cry, I felt like I was crying on behalf of every single woman who had ever struggled before me.

And there was this one cry. I remember it. I was on my living room floor just wailing and wailing. And I was by myself. And I wanted to be by myself because I wanted to just experience what I was feeling and really allow myself to feel it. And I was crying and I felt all of our ancestors, all of the women behind me, all standing there with their hand on my back, all just there holding space for me and allowing me to let this out. And they were almost like let this go, let this go. And that was a really big pivotal moment for me. 

And so that 18 months I kept on priming my body, I kept on priming my mind. I looked at a lot of fears that I had come up around this. I looked at stress because when we are on this journey and what I teach in Wholy Mama, which we'll talk about later, is integrating the body, the mind, and the spirit. And when you embark on this conscious conception journey, it's not just about the body, it's not just about doing the heavy metal detox, guys.

It's about getting your body into the best place it can be for you and also then looking at your mind, looking at stress, looking at your fears, looking at your emotions, and then also taking into consideration the spirit, because there's another entity who is part of this equation. And this was really big for me, Luke. 

And I caused myself so much suffering. I forgot that there was another spirit that was part of this equation. I made it all about me and my timeline. Why isn't this happening when I want it to happen? I wanted it to happen months ago. Why? Why, why, why? And that caused a lot of inner turmoil for me, a lot of suffering, a lot of pain. 

And then I remembered that there was another entity that she has her own timeline. And she has her own karmic journey. And it's almost selfish of me to think of it as just my timeline, like I want it to happen when I want it to happen. I've done all of this prep and now I'm ready. But what about her? What about her and her journey? And when I really got that, we then got pregnant. And it was such a big lesson in surrendering and letting go of control and trust. And then we got pregnant. 

So I have been studying these topics since 2013. I've read every book. I've gone to seminars and workshops, and I've been a human guinea pig myself. And I've also had the privilege of having a top-rated podcast and being able to interview the world's best doctors, scientists, new York Times best-selling authors, midwives, shamans, doulas. 

So I got to pick their brain during that period which was such gold. And I also never told social media that I was going through this in these 18 months. So I was going through all of this internally on my own. My practitioners knew, my husband knew. Obviously, one friend knew, but I didn't tell social media because I knew this was a spiritual assignment, in letting go of control and surrendering and trust and I didn't want noise from outside penetrating in. 

So I would interview these fertility experts and all of these amazing people, conscious parenting experts. And then after we'd finish recording, I'd say, "By the way, this is my experience." And they would be like, "Oh, Melissa. I had no idea. Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing that with me." And then they would be, "Now do this and try this, and have you thought about this?" So I had access to these incredible experts as well as going on my own journey and studying like a PhD for so many years, almost 10 years. 

And I have put it all into this program, this eight-week live program, Wholy Mama, and as well as me teaching in it. I've got the world's best experts inside the program delivering master classes on conscious conception, pregnancy, birth, postpartum and conscious parenting. And so that's how the program was created and that's why I created it. And that's a bit about my story of how I got to here. Now my daughter, like you said, is one and a half. And I truly love being a mother. Yes, my conception journey took a lot longer than I wanted and would have hoped, but I had a beautiful pregnancy. 

I had an empowered birth experience, empowered. I had the most blissful 40-day postpartum lying-in period, which was just like a retreat. I was on a retreat in my home. It was so heavenly. And I love being a mum and I truly believe that I've had those experiences not only because I've done the work, but because it's been a choice that I've made. 

And now I am so committed to helping other women have an empowered experience and to enjoy motherhood because this journey from maiden to mother, matrescence, they call it, maiden to mother, that transition from maiden to mother is one of the biggest-- that and menopause, is one of the biggest life transformational experiences women go through. 

Our brains actually change. All of our hormones in our body are shifting. Everything is changing and it can be a very expansive and spiritual and life-changing experience. And I want to help women feel that because for a lot of women, that is not the story. For a lot of women, as soon as they're told they're pregnant from their doctor, their power is taken away from them. They're told, "You need to do this test. You must do this. You are high risk because of your age. You're this, you're that. You've got to do this."

And so from that moment, our power is taken away from us in pregnancy. And then we go into birth and our power is taken away from us most of the time, sometimes even physically ripped out of us. Our children are ripped out of us. Things happen in birth without our consent, leaving women feeling very disempowered and lost and confused. And then they go into parenting. Their initiation into motherhood is from that traumatized, disempowered place. 

And then they step into motherhood like that. And then my wish is that women feel empowered so that they can step into parenting empowered and then raise empowered children. And these children that are coming through now, holy moly, they are lightworkers. They are incredible. They know what they're coming for. And they need mama and papa to be in their power because they want to be empowered. 

And so this is why I feel so passionate about it. And I've had an empowered experience and I want to help others do the same because it's our birthright. It's our birthright, and we are worthy of it. And you don't have to have a home birth to feel empowered. You don't have to have a free birth to feel empowered. You can have a hospital birth. You can birth in a birthing center. It doesn't matter where you birth. You can feel empowered and you can have an empowered experience. 

And I really want to help women do that because that will change their mothering experience and it will change the way that they show up. It will change the ecosystem in their home because mothers are the heartbeat of the home. Our energy dictates the energy of the home. When I am grumpy, when I am stressed, you can bet that my stepson feels it, my husband feels it, my daughter feels it. 

But when I'm happy and thriving-- and this is another big piece of it, we talk a lot-- there's this thread of self-love and self-care through the entire program because when the mama is full, and happy and healthy and thriving, she then dictates the entire energy of the home. And that's healthy and happy and thriving. So this is what I'm committed to and I love it so much. I love talking about these topics. I am so excited to be sharing this with the world. And yeah, the program's open right now.

Luke Storey: [00:35:37] Awesome. Yeah. While we're at it, I'll let people know that they can find your program at lukestorey.com/wholymama, W-H-O-L-Y-mama. So wholy like who. Thank you for that story. There's so many times I was like, "Oh, don't interrupt, Luke. There are zillions of touch points in there." But you were on a really good roll, so I just kept my mouth shut, which is rare sometimes with this podcast as the listeners will know. 

One thing though there that I think is really important, and that is-- you talked about surrender and just trusting this process and letting go of your timeline. So say we play this out a different way, and you had indeed gotten pregnant the first time you tried when you woke up that morning and said, hey, I'm ready like none of the work you're doing here. Well, we don't know for sure, but it's much less likely that the impact that you're going to have on women and couples listening to this episode, people that enroll in the course, it's like we're unable to see when we're going through those challenges that on the other side of them that there's going to be a bigger and higher purpose for that. 

And I love that part of the story. It's like because that happened now, so many other side effects that are positive have come about. So that's extremely inspiring to me. It's one of those things I remember like, all right, next time I'm going through a hard time or things aren't happening when I think they should happen, just trust. Trust, and there will be a time in the future when I'll look back and go, "Oh, now I see why it happened when it was supposed to happen."

A common request from Life Stylist listeners is a breakdown of my top five non-negotiable supplements. After a couple of decades of research, I'd have to say that vitamin K2 easily makes that list. Nearly every American adult has insufficient levels of vitamin K2. It's simply not available in the modern Western diet. 

Why does this matter? Well, a K2 deficiency can cause major issues, including coronary artery disease, heart disease, bone spurs, kidney stones and liver stones, plaque in your heart vessels, and even major cardiac events. 

In 1990, the Rotterdam study looked at people from eastern Japan who consumed high amounts of K2. More than 8,400 participants were given 50 micrograms of natural K2 on a daily basis for more than ten years and the results were insane. Participants of the study showed a 50% decrease in cardiovascular events and mortality, a 25% decrease in all-cause mortality, and finally a 25% increased rate of living longer and healthier. It's crazy what they found in this study. 

So now you can see why I'm into taking K2 every single day of my life. And my favorite source is from a company called Just Thrive. Their vitamin K2 is the only product on the market with 320 micrograms of pharmaceutical grade K2-7, which is the optimal daily amount. 

This is the K2 I use and trust because it's microbiologist formulated and clinically tested and supports healthy heart circulation, brain, bones, and nerves, and even encourages healthy blood sugar levels. 

So for exceptional gut and immune health, there's nothing like Just Thrive. And right now you can get 15% off everything Just Thrive carries when you go to justthrivehealth.com and use the code LUKE15 at checkout. That's justthrivehealth.com and the code is LUKE15. 

Going way back into that, you were doing this hair mineral analysis test, you had high mercury, you are detoxing that, you were doing other labs with functional medicine doctors. In the period before you were able to get pregnant, was anything showing up abnormally in terms of your hormone balancing minerals or anything like that that would have had any influence on whether or not you were able to conceive? Did anyone find anything that was missing or out of balance that would have possibly been the cause of that taking so long?

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:39:52] Really great question. And I definitely went and did every test that I could. I got my hormones tested, thyroid tested, I did hair mineral analysis, I did omega-3, I did gut, I did bloods, I did everything right because when it wasn't happening, when I wanted it to happen, my first thought was, what's wrong with my body? Why can't I do this? This is the most natural thing on the earth. Why can't my body do this? And so I went and did every test that I could to find out if there was anything wrong and not really. 

My functional medicine doctor was like, "Okay, I think we need to look at your stress. Let's look at the stress." And that's a big piece because that does affect your hormones, as you know. But there was nothing that was bright red warning signs, alarm bells, like your thyroid is out or this, there was nothing like that. My doctor was like, "Okay, let's look at your stress. Let's look at that."

So when I did all of those tests and then there was nothing that was like bright red warning sign, I'm like, "Great. So I just have to wait." That was me. So that is when I knew it was a spiritual assignment. That's when I knew it was a spiritual assignment. And it was an assignment for me. I really did need to work on my stress, which is very challenging in the conception journey when you want it so badly and people are saying, "Don't stress," but you're like, "Don't tell me not to stress. I want this to happen." It's really challenging, but I really had to learn how to relax and let that go and just trust. 

And I knew that one day I would be sharing all about this. I knew that I would share all about it. And I really did just need to trust the process. So there wasn't any big things physically, which in the conscious conception journey and in that module in the program, I give you a list of all of the potential labs that you can get done that can really help you get a baseline for where you're at. 

For example, hair mineral analysis test, which is really important because you don't want to pass on metals down to your baby because they get passed through the placenta. So you want to make sure that you don't have heavy metals like I had very high levels of mercury. So I got rid of that. And then I retested and it was gone, which was amazing.

So that's when we decided to baby-make. But yeah, it's really important that you get a baseline for where you and your partner are at and then work with the functional medicine doctor to maybe tweak things that might need tweaking. Not everyone needs to take iron and to take this and to take that. And so these people that give blanket advice on what people should take when they're pregnant is like, "Well, you don't even know what's going on for that person."

And then if you're recommending this supplement and that could be affecting something for that person with their thyroid that they don't even know, you need to get the data. You need to get the data so that you can then work on your unique body and your makeup. It's so important. So we talk about this in Conscious Conception. 

And so I did the test and nothing was bright red. It was just like, okay, he was like, "Let's look at your stress. Let's work on the cortisol" because when you're stressed, your hormones go offline and your body thinks that you are running from a saber-toothed tiger. 

So that's what cortisol does. It turns your reproductive system off and it says it's not safe to reproduce right now. You need to run from the saber-toothed tiger. So we don't want our body to be in that state when we are trying to have a baby. We want rest and digest. We want oxytocin. We want beautiful hormones swimming through our body that are not going to spike our stress. 

So we want to calm our nervous system. We want to calm our stress. That's key to getting pregnant. And then you want to do that through your pregnancy, through your birth, and beyond as much as possible. The more that you can balance your hormones, the better. 

And this is the thing. Fertility isn't just about making babies. Having a thriving reproductive system is about happy, healthy hormones and a happy, healthy person. So I remember years ago in my early 20s, someone said to me, "You got to sort your hormones out." And I was like, "No, I don't want to get pregnant." And she's like, "That's not what I'm saying. We need to sort your hormones out because you have acne and something's going on and we need to get your hormones humming and balanced because that means thriving, happy, healthy human being."

And so I didn't get that memo in school. No one taught me that. I thought hormones were just about making babies, and that is not the case. And so I did the physical stuff and all whilst, that 18 months I was continuously optimizing my body. I mean, I live like this, I eat like this, that my lifestyle is very health-conscious and conducive to making babies. I don't need to go and do a detox from alcohol or things like that, processed food, I don't eat that stuff. I don't drink alcohol. So my lifestyle is very healthy and clean. 

So the physical stuff I would keep on working on and then I realized it was more of a spiritual assignment for me. It was a spiritual assignment in surrendering and trusting. And also you will like this story which I haven't actually shared anywhere. And I had a mushroom ceremony in this time and I had a beautiful, beautiful experience where I-- oh, it makes me emotional just even thinking about this experience. 

So I think it was about a year in, I had a beautiful mushroom ceremony with my husband and our best friends, and so there was four of us and I had a spiritual surgery in that ceremony. I was laying down and I had all of these gold fireflies flying around me, and they would come through my body and then flush through my fallopian tubes. And they kept on flushing through my fallopian tubes. And then I saw, I don't know if you've seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Luke Storey: [00:47:30] Sure. Yeah.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:47:31] And there's the Oompa-Loompas.

Luke Storey: [00:47:33] Mh-hmm.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:47:34] I had the Oompa-Loompas inside my womb working on my womb, going, like Oompa, working on my womb. And then the fireflies kept flushing through my fallopian tubes, and I had the most beautiful experience. And his message was trust. It's not your body. Trust. Because at that point I thought it was something wrong with my body. I thought something was wrong with me, why couldn't I get pregnant? 

And then that's when I really knew I was like, "This is a spiritual assignment for me. This is an assignment in trust, surrender, letting go of control, releasing my white knuckle grip on wanting it to happen when I wanted it to happen." And yeah, a few months after that, we were then pregnant, which was just amazing.

Luke Storey: [00:48:30] Thank you for sharing the first time shared story there. I've had similar experiences without the fallopian tubes, obviously. But yeah, I mean, sometimes in those realms and dimensions, you have access to an understanding of yourself and your body and you're able to get in there and do things that would normally be inaccessible. So as far out as that sounds to some people, those that have had those types of experiences will know it's very real, especially when on the other side of it something different happens.

That's what I always find interesting about those types of healing experiences, is sometimes you come out of and you think, "Oh, was I just imagining all of that?" But then your life changes in very specific ways that are indicative of the fact that no, something very real happened as far out as it might have seemed at the time to other people. So that's very cool. 

Another piece in there that I think is really important is how you were talking about stress and cortisol. And it's interesting how you weren't able to pinpoint anything physically that would have been blocking that, which, of course, as you said, led you into more of a spiritual understanding. 

But it always makes sense to me when we're talking about a woman's ability to get pregnant, that if there's a high level of stress that it is very unlikely that the body is going to think, yeah, now would be a great time to get pregnant. I mean, it's kind of common sense. But I think because both of us men and women are so used to living in a state of chronic stress, that if you asked the average woman who's trying to get pregnant and having a hard time like, "Well, are you really stressed out?" I'd be like, "No, I'm fine. Life's great."

We don't even know how stressed out we are because so many of us are living in that hurried rush, social media, especially entrepreneurs where you can't turn your work off. In some cases, it's a little harder than just going to a job and coming home and having your life. There's so many different factors there. 

But Alyson and I, as you probably know, are in the journey of working on getting pregnant ourselves, and so I'm always thinking about if there's anything I can do to remove stress from her life. And I mean, as you said, the woman sets the tone of the home, which is so true. So I'm always thinking of ways that I can alleviate stress for her and just have her relax, but especially now because we're actively trying it's like any time she gets stressed out, I'm like, "No, no, no. Relax, relax. Don't send a message to your body that anything's wrong. We're fine."

But it's also fun. As a man, I don't know if there's anything I enjoy more than to be able to provide that stability and that container to allow her, she's taking her guitar lessons and doing fun, creative things and just living her best life and is less focused on her career after putting her book and her card deck out and stuff. And it's really nice to be able to actually be in that position and from this perspective of getting pregnant, knowing that on top of just living a healthy lifestyle and being spiritually and emotionally prepared to be a parent, that it's really, really important to make sure you're avoiding stress at all costs. So that's a really great takeaway.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:51:47] 100%. It's your role to make her feel the queen that she is. And Nick and I had a conversation-- and this is oh, especially when your partner is pregnant because the baby feels everything that we feel. So we made it a little game in our house like how chill can we make Melissa? How chill can we make her? And Nick purposely and still to this day, he does this now, but from this conscious conception journey, he will not bring things to me that he knows could potentially cause stress in me if I don't need to know them. 

So he doesn't need to tell me that this or this happened in the business if I don't need to know. So he will be very, very mindful. And same with my team. I tell them, I'm like, if you know that something is going to cause me stress and you think that I don't need to know about it, please don't tell me. So for example, the website's down. They don't need to tell me the website's down. Just fix it. Don't tell me.

I talk about this in the program, practicing crystal clear communication and setting yourself up when you begin on this conscious conception journey. And if you're already pregnant and if you're a mom already, don't add any stress to my life that I don't need to hear about. 

My parents, for example, would constantly tell me in the past about all of the tragic things that are happening in the world and this and that and would love to tell me about so-and-so's cat that just died or their second cousin's uncles passed away. And just how traumatic it like and I appreciate this stuff but at the same time I'm like, did I need to know that? Did I need to know that information because I'm pregnant right now and I just need to stay as zane and chill as possible. That is your goal when you are pregnant and when you're trying to conceive, how can you be as chill as you possibly can? 

And we made a game of it with my stepson. We made a game of it with Nick. We made a game of it. And if you have little kids and you're going for your second or your third or your fourth baby, make a fun game of it like who can massage Mommy's feet the most? Who can help momma the most? 

Just make it a fun game and remember that your role is to just be as chill and relaxed as you possibly can and practice crystal clear communication and have conversations with the people around you and just say, "Hey, if I don't need to know about X, Y, and Z in the business or over here, don't tell me."

Luke Storey: [00:55:07] In my experience, nothing has a bigger impact-- and I mean nothing-- on how I feel and perform each day than my quality and quantity of sleep. Honestly, I've tried every supplement and biohacking technology out there to improve my mood, energy, and focus after a crappy night's sleep. And there is nothing that makes me feel better than a good night's sleep. And unfortunately, lack of sleep is simply not hackable in my experience. And the thing that's had the single biggest impact on my sleep is temperature regulation. 

This company, Chilisleep, makes the coldest and most comfortable sleep systems available. I started out back in the day using their Cube, then onto the Ooler and most recently their new Dock Pro, which is by far my most cherished sleep tool. It works like this. The Chilisleep mattress pads keep your bed at the perfect temperature for deep cold sleep. 

And with the Dock Pro, I can even set the app to change temperatures throughout the night and even turn warm in the morning to wake me up rather than using an alarm clock. It's really cool. And by the way, it also saves me a grip of money on my electric bill to not run the AC cold all night long. 

So I'll invite you to supercharge your sleep right now at sleep.me/lukestorey where you will save 25% off the purchase of any Cube, Ooler or new  Dock Pro Sleep System. Now, this offer is available exclusively for Life Stylist Podcast listeners and only for a limited time. That's S-L-E-E-P.M-E/lukestorey to take advantage of these exclusive discounts so you too can wake up refreshed every day, and trust me, you'll thank me later.

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:56:49] I think when you're pregnant as well, and I had this conversation a few times, but when you're pregnant, any pregnant woman will tell you that women love to tell you their horror birth stories or their friend's horror birth stories, especially when you say you're having a home birth. People go, "Oh, oh, my God. Oh, oh, God. Oh, is that safe? Is that safe? How far are you from the hospital? Oh, my God, I had a horrific birth," and this happened. This one time I was at a lunch. I was really pregnant. I was at a friend's lunch, and there was a woman sitting across the table from me. 

Someone said, "Melissa, how are you feeling? How far along are you?" And I was like, "I'm so excited. And I'm having a home birth and I'm so excited." And she goes, "Yeah, but it doesn't always turn out like that." And I was like, "Whoa." And then she proceeded to tell me her horrific two birth stories, which I appreciate. And I understand that women need to express, but not to a pregnant woman who is just about to go into labor.

And I just had to say, "I'm so sorry, honey, I'm going to just leave. If you want to tell this story, you can tell it, but I'm just going to leave." And she was like, "Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I shouldn't have said that. Oh, my God, you're going to have an amazing experience." And I was like, "Yeah, I will. But I'm trying to flood my body with oxytocin and positivity. That's what I'm trying to flood my body with. And I appreciate that you needed to express." 

But women need to take responsibility. If there is a pregnant woman, our job is to love on them, to tell them how amazing they are, to tell them that they are so strong and that they can do it, and that millions of women, billions of women have done this before them and tell them that they've got this. And tell them that they're incredible. 

Don't proceed to tell a pregnant woman your horrific birth story. Tell them that they're incredible and that they look beautiful and that they're a goddess and tell them those things. So in the program, I've got some word-for-word scripts as a bonus to set healthy boundaries. And I think that's really important. We need to set healthy boundaries, especially on this journey.

Luke Storey: [00:59:16] Oh, I'm so glad you mention that. Just as someone like you that's been interviewing experts in these fields over the years, I've interviewed a number of doulas and just natural birth advocates. I've interviewed some people that are, I would say, pretty controversial on topics like circumcision and so on. And--

Melissa Ambrosini: [00:59:36] I know. I've listened to all of those episodes.

Luke Storey: [00:59:40] Word to the wise. If you're a parent who's already circumcised your boy, you probably don't want to listen to that episode. But I am just someone who's appreciative of Western medicine and the technological advances we've made, and I'm very glad that hospitals are there, but also avoid them like the plague. 

I've observed as someone who's now moving into, hopefully, the parenthood phase of life, how deeply indoctrinated people are when it comes to, especially what I would consider to be a traditional birth, the one we've been doing for a few million years, which is, get pregnant, and then at some point the baby comes out of the woman. We've medicalized it to such a degree that it's now often treated like an illness. 

I see this not so much in my circles, but just in the world at large, where a woman announces she's pregnant, and then everyone comes with their advice based out of fear, often even though it might be well intended. And the woman is now treated like a sick person. You've just announced that you have diabetes or cancer, when to me being pregnant is actually a sign of peak health because your body's not going to let you get pregnant unless you're really damn healthy. 

So I think that's such an important thing about the language being around boundaries for women, and in couples, in general, where when people want to give advice, that's going to actually bring up more anxiety and more fear on the process, that it would probably be wise to just let them know as you did, like, hey, I know you're probably intending to help, but this is not helping.

And I've just witnessed this with my younger brother, who had a complete wild birth recently, very, very successfully. And when certain members of the family learned of their plan, which was his wife is studying to become a birth keeper herself, she's now, I think, going to be a doula because she had such a beautiful birth experience. And men, certain people in the family are just freaking out because somebody's going to have a baby, which is the most natural-- I mean, probably one of the safest things you can do, I think and I don't know the stats, but I bet if you get on a busy freeway in a major city, it's probably more dangerous than having a baby, statistically speaking.

And it was really challenging for them. And they had to create all of these boundaries and just kind of go off on their own, which was really a shame because they wanted the family to be more a part of the experience. But just the indoctrination was so deep within the family that people were just too triggered. They couldn't just be a supportive observer. 

So they just had to duck out and do their own thing. And thankfully, everything went as perfect as one could ever imagine in the whole birthing process. But as someone on the sidelines looking at this, I think it is really important just to allow people to have their autonomy and give them the right to go through this process however they see fit.

And from the other side, if you're a wild or free birth advocate and you hate hospitals and doctors and someone's like, "Well, hey, I don't feel comfortable doing it at home. I have a great doctor and we're going to do it in the hospital" to also just allow them the freedom to do that and not shame them because you think it should be done more naturally. It kind of goes both ways, depending on what circles you run in.

I want to back up, though, to something that happens before the baby. You've used the term conscious conception, and I know this is something that you cover in the course, which, by the way, looks amazing. I haven't had an opportunity to get in there and really dive into it. But even though I'm a man, definitely I'm going to get in there because of looking at all the modules, there's pretty much everything I would ever want to know seems to be covered there.

But around this conscious conception. So you were trying for quite some time when it came to the actual act of intimacy, did you and Nick have any sort of sacred rituals where it was like more than just passionate lovemaking but you're setting the intention and creating a container like we're going to conceive right now? If so, did you ever give that up at a certain point and just go, it's going to happen how it's going to happen? How much intentionality went into the actual conceiving part?

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:04:00] I love that question. So definitely the first month it was so beautiful. Like I said, we did a meditation and we really created a very safe and beautiful experience for each other. It was beautiful. You can have a meditation beforehand, you can do it some chanting, you can have candles and you can have all sorts of beautiful things, whatever you want. The diffuser, you can really set the stage and do that. You can absolutely do that. Whatever you want to do and whatever feels good for you guys, you can have music if you want music, like just be really connected and intentional. 

And we did that for the first couple of months and then it got to that point where I was so hurt by it not happening and then became about, okay, I'm ovulating, okay, let's do this. It came a little bit like that. And I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of that, but it became a little bit. Okay, cool, I'm ovulating. Let's go. And that magic was lost a little bit. And then it took Nick sitting me back down again and saying, "Hey, babe, remember what we're doing here. Remember that we are creating magic. We're creating a human and we have lost a little bit of that."

And so we had a couple of therapy sessions together to really just reconnect again because I felt like, yeah, it was a lot of stress on myself and on the relationship. And so we had a couple of therapy sessions together and that really helped us regroup and come back together. And what is this all about? This is about us and our love and our connection. 

And we got back into that beautiful place. And then we got back into really feeling connected and loving each other and holding each other and what this is all about, which is about creating love and making love because that little being is pure love consciousness.

And it's about bringing her in and she wants to come in into a really loving, beautiful, safe space. And yeah, it was the most beautiful, beautiful experience. And I highly recommend even just having a little conversation before and just being really intentional about what you guys are doing is really a beautiful thing to do. 

You can do a little meditation, you can hold that vision, you can do some chants, you can do whatever, you can have a dance. Just do whatever. I think it's a really beautiful thing to do, but just connect. Even just sitting in front of each other and hand on each other's heart and just closing your eyes and breathing together, just doing that for a couple of minutes before you go into it. 

And yeah, or even just giving each other a beautiful massage and just-- I don't know. There's so many different things that you can do, but I highly recommend that. I know if I was a little spirit up there and my mama and papa were down there all in love connecting, I'd be like, I want to go to them. Can I go to them?

Luke Storey: [01:07:19] Totally. Thank you for that. And there's another interesting piece of this. When you were talking earlier about you thought once you were ready and you're of an appropriate age where you should be able to conceive that you just do it and then you're pregnant. And I naively thought that it went the same way. 

I just know very little about female cycles. Apparently, I'm learning quickly, but I literally just thought as soon as-- I didn't even know about ovulation and stuff. I'm in my like, I guess late 40s to 50s and I was like, oh, there's certain days when you can do it. So anyway, learning through all of that and having sex sometimes and not being pregnant as a result. 

But the piece there that I think is interesting is that when you have such a finite period of time in which you could conceive, it's a little awkward around the spontaneity of sex too. It's almost feels like an obligation or that it's mechanistic in some way when it seems like it should be. And most of the time it's just something that's totally spontaneous and just happens beautifully on its own accord.
And the style of the interaction is just going to be dictated by the mood everyone's in and the setting and all of that, whether it's more sex versus lovemaking and so on.
But I've found it really interesting to navigate the conception piece because of the lack of spontaneity and that it's planned. There's almost an added element of pressure that would normally not be there which I don't know that that's a question. It's just an observation in my experience that something that I hadn't predicted because I just thought it'd just automatically happen. And you don't even have to think about it.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:09:07] Yeah. I wish we were taught this stuff too. And don't worry, babe, I didn't know this either. I thought that you could get pregnant any day of the month. This was years ago. But I'm like, why were we not taught this in school? Why are they not teaching us how to track our cycle in school and understand the four different phases that we go through in the cycle in a month? 

Why are they not teaching us that about the luteal phase? Why are they not teaching us about all these different phases and how to track our cycle? And the ovulation window is a couple of days and those are the days that you want to make sure you're using protection or whatever. 

We take the pill which I did. I took the pill for seven years, which stops you getting pregnant for the whole time. But you don't need that. You only have this window where you can get pregnant. And just saying that there are people that get pregnant outside of that, too. Whatever happens, it's really important to know that there is this window and it can take the spontaneity out of it. But what we did and this might be helpful for anyone listening and you guys, what we did is because I tracked my cycle, I had an app, I knew I had a regular period, I knew when my fertile and ovulating window was. 

And so Nick had the same app. And so when I would go into that fertile window, I would just let him know. And I just like, "Hey, just a reminder, I'm going into my fertile window, which means maybe in around two days or so I might be ovulating." And so I just let him know and plant that seed, kind of like a "Hey, I'm open, I'm open" like that.

And then so he knew and we'd also have this little thing where I had a crystal and whenever I was ovulating, and if something hadn't happened that day, I would just go and put the crystal on his desk, on his music desk, and I just go put the crystal there. And then he knew that that was our signal, like I'm ovulating. And so we didn't have to have a conversation like, "I'm ovulating. Let's do it. Let's go." 

So it still felt a little bit spontaneous. And so I just put that crystal there and then the ball was in his court. That was a really beautiful thing to do and made it a little bit more fun. But yeah, over that ovulation period, a lot of experts say you can make love every second day during that little period and the sperm lasts that two days, so every two days. But you don't also want for a man to be ejaculating every single day of the month. You don't want to be doing that because that's quite energy-draining and depleting for a man too. 

And in Daoism and Tantra, they talk about seed retention and doing that and circulating the energy and not ejaculating every single day. So you also want to find that window and then save up your seed and save that energy and then go for it then.

Luke Storey: [01:12:25] Yeah, I can say as a man who's aging, even if one could do that, you're not going to get a lot done. Motivation gets lost pretty quick to do other things in life when you're too overactive. 

Let me ask you a quick question. Have you spent a grip of cash on supposedly healthy food and supplements only to feel worse afterward? Well, so of I. This, my friends, is why I love biomarker testing. I've been running my lab since around 2012 and every year the science seems to improve little by little. 

But here's the thing the testing is still incredibly expensive and often not covered by insurance. Then there's the issue of having to hire a healthcare professional to evaluate your results and pray that their recommendations are legit. And all of this gets confusing and time-consuming. 

This is why I am obsessed with a company called Viome. They solve these issues altogether by providing personalized and precise recommendations based on results from your blood, stool, and now saliva testing. And they have four tests available, but their newest, most comprehensive one is the Viome full body intelligence test. This is by far the most advanced at-home health test currently available to consumers like you and me. And it also happens to be my personal favorite.

Now, their tests range from around 149 to 349, which is way less expensive and more accurate than most single test available through a doctor. And once you get your testing done, Viome even offers custom pre and probiotics and precision supplements which are made to order based on your personal test results. 

So I highly recommend that you take the guesswork out of your health program and get your Viome tests on lock. To get that done, just cruise over to viome.com and use the code STOREY for $30 off your Viome order. Or for the full body intelligence test, you can use the code STOREY50 to get 50 bucks off. That's V-I-O-M-E.com. And again, the codes are STOREY or STOREY50 depending on the test you choose. 

One of the things that I think would be helpful which you talk about in your course, of course, is putting together your dream team, like assembling your team. And I think that this is really important. Because provided, say, someone's in a relationship, so you were married, your husband's around and we'll just assume that that's going to be the case in most cases with an intentional pregnancy at least, how did you go about deciding whether you wanted to birth at home or in a hospital? If so, did you want to just have a doula or did you also want a midwife?

How did you decide the role that you wanted to fill, and then how to actually find those people that you vibed with because it's such an intimate experience? Did you interview multiple people? What was your criteria for feeling out someone's level of professionalism, expertise, but also just their energy and compatibility with you and your family container?

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:15:34] I love this question. And we talk about this inside the program-- creating and building your dream team because it is so important. Who you choose to have in your birthing space is really important. Like you said, it's one of the most vulnerable, intimate moments of your entire life.
And my birthing team were absolute rock stars. I felt so safe, so held, so seen by them. And I will definitely be birthing the next time and the next time with the same team. I'm like, I want the same midwife, I want the same doula. 

And so for me, I always knew that I was going to have a home birth. As soon as I knew that I was going to have babies with Nick in 2013, always home birth, I felt the most safe in my home environment and that's a really important piece. You have to birth where you feel the most safe. And if that is a hospital, then go for it. If that's a birthing center, go for it. If that's at home, go for it. You have to feel safe. 

That is really important because if you don't feel safe, you're not going to be able to fully relax. And guess what you need? Your womb and your vagina and everything to do. You need it to relax, but you're not going to be able to relax fully if you don't feel safe. So it's very important that wherever you choose to birth, you feel safe. And then whoever you choose in your birthing container also allows you to feel safe and held and supported. 

And so for me, I always knew it was going to be at home. And then I always knew I wanted a private midwife and a doula. And then I had a friend who's a photographer and videographer who was just this fly on the wall taking photos and videos and yeah, she's just in the corner.

I knew she was there, but she was just perfect and that's what you want. You want people who are not going to be noisy and annoying, or you want people who are so respectful and honor the process. And I interviewed so many midwives. I interviewed them because this is my personality. I research things to the nth degree. This is my personality. I interviewed so many and I had FaceTimes with them so I could feel their energy. And then I met a few of them in person.

But when I met this midwife, I knew straight away-- well, actually Nick knew before me. He said, "This is the one." And I was like, "Really?" But I was like, "I want to interview more." And so he let me go and interview a whole bunch more because I just want to make sure that I had the right one. And we ended up going with her.
And I'm so glad she is a full-on birth keeper. She also is a pelvic floor ecology specialist. She does yoni mapping and dearmoring as well. So she gives you two sessions whilst you're pregnant to dearmor to release any fears and emotional stuff that you have in your womb, which is really amazing. And she's like a shaman. She's incredible. She's so amazing and I'm so glad I had her.

And then I had a beautiful doula who was more of this delicious mama figure. She was just so nurturing and so beautiful and supportive. And then I had Nick, who was just my rock. I fell so madly in love with him that day, even deeper. The way that he showed up for me, he was my hero. And afterward I'm like, "You're my hero." And he's like, "You're my frickin hero." He's like, "What you just did at home with no drugs vaginally." He's like, "You're my frickin hero." And I'm like, "No, you're my hero." And the way that he just showed up and it's so beautiful. 

I think the role that the partner plays like in my situation and your situation, the role the man plays, is such a beautiful role. To witness him, he's in it, too. He's in it too. He did not leave my side. He was there with me in the meditation with me, in the birth vortex with me. And you'll experience this, Luke, and you'll just be like, wow. I've got full goosebumps. It's magical. And Nick is like, "That was the best experience of my life." 

And so it's really important you have people in there that are going to be an advocate for you, especially in a hospital setting, are going to be an advocate for what you desire because if something does go the way that you hadn't planned and then people are saying, we've got to do this, this and this, and that was not your desire, you need people to be your voice in that time because you are in the moment, you are in the zone. 

So you need people that can be your advocate to be your voice, people that you trust with your life and with your baby's life. And I did. I trusted my midwife so beautifully. And we said afterward when we were doing a debrief a few days later, which is really another important piece, that you do a debrief with your midwife or with your doula and your partner, and you chat about it because it's really important that the mother and the partner process, what has just happened, it's really important.

And so we're doing the debrief and we were all saying it was so beautiful, the way that we all worked together. It wasn't just me birthing. It was the whole team. And we were doing this beautiful dance between each other. And there was unspoken energy. We didn't even need to talk. It was silent most of the time. And then my midwife would just go over there and do this and press on my back there. And it was just this beautiful, beautiful dance. 

And so it's very important that you choose your birthing team wisely. And if you have a midwife-- and this has happened to a lot of friends of mine, if you have a midwife and you don't resonate with her, you can change. And I've had women change at 27 weeks. You can change. It's really important that you feel safe and seen and held and secure and choose people that are going to support you and your vision.

Luke Storey: [01:22:44] That's incredible. I'm glad we got to cover that. Again, with my podcast, I'm sometimes selfishly asking questions because it's something I'm facing in my life or I'll soon face. And that's a piece that I think is going to be really important, but also, of course, for anyone listening. Man, there's so much more I feel like I want to hear about. We didn't even get into your postpartum and all that, but I know in the interest of time, we just don't have time to get into it. 

But maybe before we go, you can just illuminate for people a little more of the details on your course, the Wholy Mama course, which this episode will come out on October 28th in just a couple of days from the time of this recording, so be the 28th, which is the day before my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Another great episode. And then the registration closes, I think on November 4th.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:23:38] Yeah, November 4th Australian time, which is actually November 3rd for Americans.

Luke Storey: [01:23:44] Okay. So people will have a little less than a week, essentially to sign up if they hear this and it resonates. So give people a little sales pitch. What is the course included? It looks incredible to me if from probably get it for free I have a feeling after doing this interview. But this is something I would be very interested because it's coming from someone-- you've gone through the process yourself. And I think when I want to learn something from someone, it's not necessarily like the doctor, the scientist, someone that wrote a book. It's like, I want to learn from a person like you that geeked out really hard from years and is an aggregate of data that's then able to compartmentalize it for me, who's a peer, who's about to go through the same thing and to be able to learn in that way. So that idea is really intriguing to me. So give us a short overview of what's included here for people.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:24:42] Yeah, thank you so much. So we kick off November 7th. We start the program. It's eight weeks live with me and doors closed November 3rd for Americans, November 4th for Australians. And it's broken up into those modules, so conscious conception, pregnancy, empowered birthing and postpartum and then conscious parenting as well as getting my teachings in the program and Q&A is with me. You get 3 to 4 master classes in each of those areas with those guest experts. And you can rewatch those as many times as you want. You can rewatch everything as many times as you want. But the live training with me is obviously live. 

And then if you can't make it live, you can come back and watch the replay, but you have lifetime access to this so for baby number two or three or four or five. I know for me personally, when baby number two is time, I will be going back through this entire program myself. And there is no program on the planet that walks you through step by step every step of the journey. There's conception programs that talk about the body, but there's no conception programs that talk about the body, the mind, and the spirit, and then the pregnancy and then the birth and then the postpartum and then the parenting. There's nothing like this. 

And so I've got 19 of the world's best experts inside the program. And like I said, it's eight weeks live. And then afterwards, you can also upgrade to become a VIP mama. And you'll love this, Luke. So the VIP mama is you get an extra five masterclass Q&A sessions with some of the best experts on this planet. 

And you can submit your burning questions to them. And these people don't even see clients one on one anymore. And so I've got Dr. Oscar Serrallach who wrote The Postnatal Depletion Cure. So he's one of the VIP mamas. I've got Dr. Cleopatra, who is a scientist on fertility. She's incredible.

Luke Storey: [01:26:58] I love her.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:26:59] She's amazing. I've got Dr. Stephen Cabral, who is my personal ayurvedic physician. I've got Debra Pascali-Bonaro, who created the documentary Orgasmic Birth. I've got her in there. And then I've also got Dr. Sarah Buckley, who wrote Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering. So you can submit your questions to those five experts and they don't see clients one on one anymore. So if you want to be a VIP mama, come and join that. And you know what's really interesting? It's always interesting to see because the doors are open right now, so many people are going straight for that option, so many people.

Luke Storey: [01:27:41] Really?

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:27:42] Yeah, straight for the VIP mama. I'm like, "Wow, that's interesting." So people are wanting that extra support in that way. So come and join us. And there's a beautiful Facebook community which is really important on this mamahood journey to have like minded women on this journey with you. And you'll be birthing at the same time with some of them. And that was really invaluable for me to have a conscious moms group that we were all birthing within a few months of each other. 

That is invaluable. That is just priceless because it can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be. And this is where you'll find your like-minded women and you can connect and cheer each other on and support each other and swap numbers and text each other in the middle of the night when you're up pumping or whatever you're doing, saying, "How's your boobs feeling?" 

Luke Storey: [01:28:39] That's incredible. Well, listen, I know you got to go, but thank you for coming on the show and for creating this course. As someone who had another business for many years creating online courses, it's not for the faint of heart. It's not easy and it's definitely not easy to do it the way you're doing it, where it's eight weeks of live training. It's still a lot of work to put together a bunch of videos and put them in modules and people can study them. 

I have an EMF course that's like that. And it's a basic course. It's 150 bucks. I put a lot into it. But still, the way that you're doing this and bringing in all of the other experts and just looking at the landing page you create, I was like, "Oh no, she did like the real deal. This is like some Marie Wolio level shit here." when it comes to online training. People that know her well, know what I mean.

So congratulations on actually getting this done at the same time as being a new mom. And I think this topic is why I've done so many shows about all of this in the past couple of years is because I want to learn about it. But also I think it's just so important because we're setting the stage for the future of this planet. Literally, if you affect one family in the way that they have birth, that's more holistic and less traumatic for everyone involved, it's like there's one more conscious little being out in the world to take us to the next level of consciousness and the kind of world that we want to create. 

So I'm really happy that you put your expertise in all things marketing and all the things how to do with writing books and online businesses into something with this topic specifically because it's just really, really important. So thank you.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:30:13] Oh, you're so welcome, my friend. And if I didn't have to go breastfeed, I would stay for another 3 hours and chat to you. But thank you so much. I always love time with you and your beautiful Alyson. You guys are just such beautiful, hot scented people. And I truly mean that you are so warm and you're just so generous and so loving and so kind. And I love connecting with you guys and being in your presence any time. Any time I get with you and Alyson, it's just such a treat. 

So thank you for being here and offering me this space and for everything that you do in the world. And I'm so excited for all of your exciting projects. Potentially a book very soon, hopefully. And we'll have to get you back on my podcast to chat about that as well.

Luke Storey: [01:31:05] I love it. I love it. All right, well, you go breastfeed. Congratulations on the course and we'll talk to you soon.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:31:11] Thank you so much. Lots of love.

Luke Storey: [01:31:13] All right. You, too. Bye.

Melissa Ambrosini: [01:31:15] Bye.

Luke Storey: [01:31:19] All right, that's it, fam. Thanks for joining me on another episode of The Life Stylist Podcast. As usual, I learned a lot myself, and my sincere wish is that you did as well. I've always really enjoyed Melissa's very real and approachable attitude. And of course, the fact that, like me, when she wants to learn about something, she goes full on deep dive style. 

And this makes for a great podcast guest and we'll no doubt make her Wholy Mama course worth exploring for anyone looking to have kids in the most healthy and holistic way possible. So I'm happy to support what she's up to over there. Don't forget enrollment for her Wholy Mama Course is available today through November 3rd 2022. 

And again, you can find that at lukestorey.com/wholymama. Okay, on the next week's show, it's number 440, Why Muscles Matter: The Truth About Essential Amino Acids and Protein with Angelo Keely. If you're someone who has been struggling to put on muscle or lose fat, next week's episode is going to help you out. Number 440. Can't wait to meet you there.



Magnesium Breakthrough
Link to the Search Page
Link to the Search Page
Link to the Search Page
Just Thrive | Probiotics
Link to the Search Page

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated the statements on this website. The information provided by lukestorey.com is not a substitute for direct, individual medical treatment or advice. It is your responsibility, along with your healthcare providers, to make decisions about your health. Lukestorey.com recommends consulting with your healthcare providers for the diagnosis and treatment of any disease or condition. The products sold on this website are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.


continue the discussion at the life stylist podcast facebook group. join now.