194. Raising Conscious Kids: The New Parenting Paradigm With Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

Neil Strauss is a legendary ten-time, New York Times best selling author, speaker and coach. His books, The Game and Rules of of The Game, for which he went undercover in a secret society of pick up artists for two years, made him an international celebrity and an accidental hero (and villain) to singles around the world. Both books topped The New York Times best-selling list and were #1 on Amazon, and the former has the dubious distinction of being the most stolen book at Barnes & Noble besides The Bible.

Strauss then completely revamped his perceptions on relationship with his book, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships released in October 2015. In the book, he explores the hidden forces that cause people to choose each other, stay together, and break up.

Strauss has been a music critic, cultural reporter, investigative journalist and columnist at The New York Times for a decade, where he won the ASCAP- Deems Taylor Award. He has also won awards for his cover stories for Rolling Stone, for which he's well known for earning the trust of some of the most guarded and secretive celebrities in the world. These interviews were collected in his best-selling book Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. Just this year, he was honored the Los Angeles Press Club’s Journalist Award for his Rolling Stone article on Elon Musk: The Architect of Tomorrow.

His Book Emergency, which Rolling Stone described as "an escape plan" for a "world in crisis," spent three months on the New York Times best seller list and cemented Strauss' reputation as, in the words of Maxim Magazine, " a George Plimpton for the 21st century." While going undercover during these books, Strauss has been named everything from the best pickup artist in the world (by the Associated Press during The Game) to receiving the President's Volunteer Service Award (for his search -and- rescue work in Emergency).

Hollywood hails Strauss as one of the most sought after ghostwriters in town. He has coauthored books Mötley Crue's The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell and Dave Navarro's Don't Try This at Home. The Dirt was hailed by Q Magazine as " the most unputdownable rock books of the year, or possibly any year," while Publishers Weekly cited The Long Hard Road Out of Hell as possibly the highest -selling rock biography of all time." The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band is currently in post production as a biopic on Netflix set to debut later this year.

Strauss has also contributed to Esquire, Maxim, Spin, Entertainment Weekly, Details, The Source, New York Newsday, and many other magazines, newspapers and online media outlets. He began his career on the staff of Village Voice while still a college undergraduate. In 1990, also while in college, he edited the book Radiotext(e) for the publisher Semiotext(e). Since then, his work has appeared in over thirty books, including several other bestsellers. His most recently book, Kevin Hart's I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons was both a New York Times best seller and topped the most downloaded audio book at the same time.

His most recent book, Kevin Hart's I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons was both a New York Times best seller and topped the most downloaded audio book at the same time.

Coaching and mentoring have always been a passion for Strauss. His love of learning and teaching propels him to speak at conferences all over the world. He formed an exclusive, high level, international personal growth, networking and mastermind group called The Society International in 2011. The Society International continues to grow as a one-of-a-kind global group of like-minded people focused on becoming their best selves. It's members comprise award-winning artists, international entrepreneurs, tech CEOs, professional athletes, and visionaries who defy categorization.

Little known facts about Strauss include: He hosts an epic weekly book club , participates in a weekly workout that the New Yorker deemed as " A radical underwater workout", acted on "Curb Your Enthusiasm", appeared in videos by Beck and 30 Seconds to Mars, has appeared on The Jimmy Kimmel Show, The View, The Carson Daly Show and dozens of other talk shows. He once hosted his own interview show, The Inner Circle with Neil Strauss, on Sirius XM, has received hate mail from Phil Collins that ended with the words "fuck you." and enjoys all things VR.

Neil resides in Malibu, California with his wife, son, and a mini gang of rescue Shih Tzus.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.

This is a show about parenting, featuring not only one of my all-time favorite authors but also one of the best parents I’ve ever watched in action. When he wants to learn about, or write about something meaningful to him, he becomes quite literally obsessed, and at this stage in his life, it’s all about becoming the best father he can possibly be. 

Neil Strauss’s books are not only educational, hilarious, emotionally touching, but also quite addictive. Over the many years I’ve been reading them, they’ve made me laugh, cry, and change my life for the better – and no matter what he writes about, I can’t put his books down until I’ve greedily inhaled every single word. 

Neil co-wrote some of the best biographies of our time, but he’s best known for The Game, which follows his journey infiltrating the pickup artist subculture and learning how to be one. This segued into teaching other guys pickup artistry, which had its ups and its downs, ultimately culminating in a sequel of sorts called The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships.

At the time, The Truth seemed like a conclusive end to Neil’s hero’s journey, in which he lost his love and then won it back. But now, a few years later, we can see that the story isn’t over. Our complex relationships with relationships can’t be neatly wrapped up in a Campbellian journey, and this is a truth that I think we all come to realize eventually.

So today, Neil shares what this next step of his journey looks like: the end of a marriage, the beginning of a non-romantic relationship with the mother of his child, the new paradigm of conscious parenting, and dating while he navigates the complexities of it all.

Since Neil has yet to write a book on parenting, I was thrilled to be able to sit down and have him share all he has learned so far about being the best dad he can be.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

  • Why the key to changing the world is healthy parenting
  • Maintaining a great relationship with the other parent of your child, even when the romantic relationships ends
  • A big myth about relationships
  • Why “staying together for the kids” is a backwards plan that doesn’t produce healthy, loving role models
  • Developing a mature relationship with monogamy
  • How The Truth changed Luke’s life
  • A sure way to kill any romantic relationship: turning your partner into a parent
  • The mistakes that most parents make – and the ones that we can avoid
  • The moment Neil learned that he was going to have a kid (also the first time he ever hoped a pregnancy test would come back positive)
  • The books and experts that have taught Neil the most about parenting
  • Why Neil keeps a diary for his son
  • How a parent can create boundaries and not get enmeshed with their child, while still being loving and intimate with them
  • You’re not always going to be your kid’s friend – and that’s okay!
  • How to avoid teaching your children to medicate their emotions
  • The Continuum Concept & parenting
  • The roles that people take on in dysfunctional families
  • Why conscious parenting is the most important thing you can do in your life
  • Neil’s new podcast, To Live and Die in LA, about the disappearance of aspiring actress Adea Shabani

More about this episode.

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